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How can I make him see my mother is nothing like his father?

My SO has a father who uses him and only calls or comes around when he wants something. My mother recently asked us to move some furniture for her. We agreed so she called yesterday to see what time we wanted to do it. My SO became upset and seems to think that she is using or being ungrateful because she asked what time. He thinks she thinks that I am suppose to jump everytime she wants something. He seems to see my mother in the same light that his father is. Only, my mother isn't like that. She simply likes to keep a schedule, that's all. How can I make him see that my mother is nothing like his father?

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Asked by CharliesKrystal at 7:46 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (244 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You both have parents that need your from time to time. Each has their own personalities or quirks. Dont we all? Be glad to have them in your life, and that you are in a position to offer your help to them.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:49 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • He needs to see it for himself over time. Calmly and lovingly say she was only wondering what time to expect them and let it go.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:51 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I'm betting once he calms down he'll realize that she was not out of line in asking what most would so she could prepare herself for you to get there. I would calmly talk to him and try to sooth his resentment for his father is being misdirected at you mom. Good luck hon.


    Answer by zbee at 8:45 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I would nicely explain that your mom just wanted to know, that way she knew she was home, & things were ready, so it wasn't a waste of his time to go & not be able to move anything or her not be there.

    Good luck...

    Over time he'll see what your mom is really like.. But its going to take some time... He'll need to see for his self..... He's got a lot of trust issues fromt he way it sounds... He'll need to work them out...


    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 9:00 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I think maybe if you could highlight all your mom does for you or where she has shown gratitude that might help him see she isn't using you. And also, I think he may be frustrated with his father and won't stand up to him so he's going to take it out on your mother. Over time he will see there is no comparison. GL

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:07 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

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