Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Having man prob!

My husband and I split a week ago which at the time I wanted him to leave now I kinda miss him. We were together for almost 6 years on and off again. We had alot of issues and none really got better.We have had physical altercations and screaming matches, which I didnt want in front of the children that is why I am now alone!!:( Am I just being stupid right now for even wanting him back????

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • No, not stupid, just human. You are lonely and that is to be expected, but just keep reminding yourself why you two split up in the first place. Physical altercations are not something to go back to, no matter how lonely you might be. Good luck:)
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:36 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • No, not being stupid, just realizing what you had wasn't that bad or else you wouldn't be missing it.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:36 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Your not being stupid at all. Your missing what you thought you had or how you hoped it would be. Hang in there for you babies hon and know most of us have been where your at and things do seem to work out for the best either way.......Hugs

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 8:39 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Stupid? No. But you aren't thinking with your head, that's all. You miss him, and are second guessing your decision because you don't want to be alone. Some people just don't like to be alone. I don't. But, if things got as bad as you say, stay away. Without counciling, therapy, HELP, it won't get any better. It will only get worse. Kids don't need to grow up around this sort of things. It creates a cycle. And causes a whole host of other mental issues when kids see their parents fight like that, physically and emotionally abusing each other. Or just one to the other. So just stay away. Besides, going back to him just tells him what he does is ok.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:39 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Right now you are just lonley. No matter how bad things are you are used to having someone there with you. But I get the impression that you have a pretty toxic marriage. You don't want your kids to grow up in that. My parents fought ALOT my whole life and it really did suck. For the first few weeks keep yourself as busy as you can. I know that nights will probably be the worst, but just remember it will get better. You will be happier, your kids will be happier, and your husband will be happier in the end. I think you really believe that it is over for good, you just need to get past the first part of learning to be alone again. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
    TeriMelisa

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 8:41 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • No, you're not being stupid. You are being lonely. That is a perfectly normal reaction for what you are going through. But if you keep going back because you are lonely, you are not giving yourself the love and the marriage that you deserve. And the life that your children deserve. No one should be around fighting parents, and from what you said it sounds like you guys fought on a semi-regular basis. Just start new routines for yourself, keep yourself busy, find a hobby, etc. It will get easier and you and your babies will be happier and healthier because of it. I wish you all the luck in the world! Just be strong.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 8:52 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Its understandable to miss him. You've spent years together... It will get better... When I left my then fiance, I made my self wait 6 months of being broken up before I would even think about talking to him. (we talked but ONLY about our child.) We ended up getting back together. BUt those 6 months helped us each alot.

    What Im getting at is you need to sit back & take the time to heal, don't go rushing back. It sounds like you made the right choice, & is it hard, YES, is it going to be easy NO. But it sounds of if things werent all that great. If your child was in your shoes what would you want them to do? Lead my expamble not by words...

    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 8:56 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • you not being stupid it was 6yrs not 6days...just know that time will make things better...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 8:59 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • No not stupid
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 5:20 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Nope, I did that too but realized that in taking a year to decide to divorce him, I made the right choice. I stuck it out and moved on from those feelings of having what I was used to or comfortable, by realizing what I had was making me miserable. Hang in there.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:32 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN