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Can you tell your kids not to do something you do?

Parents are suppose to be the role models, but often we tell them not to do something we do all the time. As a kid, it did irritate me that my mother could do something I couldn't. Every kid wants to be the adult! But later, I realized that it taught me how to be the follower rather too. Its important to learn how to be a leader, but its unrealistic to always be so. Having to follow my mothers orders, no matter how irritating, taught me that there are different standards for parents vs. children. I think its pretty much impossible for a parent to avoid telling their kids not to do something they do. And in situations, its the correct way to handle it.


Asked by SalemWitchChild at 8:54 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 23 (15,594 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • All the time.  When they ask why they can't have something I'm having (like soda) or do something I'm doing (like use the computer) I tell them it's because I'm an adult and their kids and when they are older they can do those things, too.

    My sil and mil insist that isn't fair and my kids should do anything I do if it's legal.  To that I say--who ever said things had to be "fair" between parents and kids?


    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:37 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I tell my child not to do something I do. I explain the reasons why. Like Im an adult & why Im allowed to do something, & why he isn't allowed to do something ,he's too young for it. (he's also only five right now.)

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 9:04 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • You are right! I tell my children they cannot have soda but I drink it everyday but I tell them that when they get older they can have some. LOL Which to a child that is irratating!

    Answer by melissac9903 at 9:07 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I can tell my little ones not to do sth I do and I will always explain the reason. But with my olser ones (my adult kids) I cannot do that. DH smokes so I cannot tell them not to smoke. But I can point out how bad it is and give them a million reason why it's so bad. And then tell them it's their choice. It works. My older kids are 22, 18 and almost 17 and they are all SOOO against smoking!!

    Answer by mysevenkids at 9:09 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I am a firm believer in leading by example. I have never, and can't imagine I ever will, buy in to the "do as I say, not as I do" attitude. Now, there ARE some exceptions... There are some things - having a beer with dinner for example - which I can do and my child can not. However, when they are my age, they can do it as well... Beyond those types of thing (which I do explain the age thing about) I wouldn't ever do something I didn't want my child doing. This has always been my reasoning behind the "white lies" attitude around Santa, Tooth Fairy and any number of other things... If I don't want my child doing it, I shouldn't do it either - and I do my best not to.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:37 AM on Sep. 25, 2010