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3 Bumps

He called me a Piece of shit.

Last night he called me a "piece of shit" when we were arguing. It really hurt a lot. I asked him "Really you're going to call me that?" And he said "Yes because I was one" I was beside myself as I had been working hard in the argument to use "I" statements and be respectful of him. It was terrible. I ran away and cried. I know he blames the argument on me which he always tends to do. But really he was being thoughtless and rude to me. I really have no idea how to cope. My marriage is falling apart. If we didn't have kids and mortgages I think I'd run so far away he'd never be able to find me again. I thought I had this marriage thing figured out but obviously I was mistaken. I don't know what to say to him now about that comment. What would u say?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Walk away from anyone who treats you like that. It will only get worse.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 9:18 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Well people say things out of anger during an argument. I would talk to him after you both have cooled down and let him know how much it hurt you...and maybe ask why he even said it.
    PerfectLove910

    Answer by PerfectLove910 at 9:18 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I would give him the silent treatment and wait till he comes around. Trust me he will apologize.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 9:23 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I disagree Dancer. I know plenty of people who DO NOT apologize. Go with the advie PerfectLove910 gave. That is very wise.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 9:27 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • the problem is that at one point in the pass you condone a disrespect...NEVER EVER EVER LET A MAN OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER DISRESPECT YOU...if you let it slide or take it as a joke once you open a door that is so hard to close...like i tell everyone my marriage is based on RESPECT 1st 2nd and 3rd...once you or the other person cross the line they THINK ITS AN OPEN INVITATION TO BE AN ASS
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 9:31 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Its called emotional abuse. And no way in Hell would I allow that to stand. No matter the arguement, your partner deserves respect; and so do you. If he can't communicate without saying those kids of comments, he'd be out the door regardless of children or financial status.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 9:48 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • What year of your marriage are you in? It's true when people tell you that things get rough in the 3rd and 7th years. I've been married 7 years, this past August, and let me tell you, we had the WORST beginning of the year! I started to think long and hard about leaving him. During our arguments, I have called him a piece of shit and not apologized for it, but he also had some choice words for me. I had some of my own issues to work out and once we could civilly sit down and talk (without arguing), we managed to get somewhere. I would definitely say that the second half of the year has been great so far. You need to analyze yourself and ask yourself what you can do to help the relationship. My mom kept telling me that when you get married, usually you want to make your other half happy, and he should want to do the same for you. Sit down with him and say you want to talk without either raising your voices. See what happens.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 10:02 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • This is really low down, and there is no way I would allow this to continue. I can go on and on about verbal abuse because we know it's just as worse as physical abuse, but if he actually feel this way about you, then there is no way you should stay with a man like this. Sometimes people have really low self-esteem, but never allow them to pull your self-esteem down. He stated that he called you this because he was one. There you go! He has very low self-esteem, and people like that need counseling. I never had this happen to me, and I would never tolerate it. Yes we as women enjoy having a special person in our lives, "BUT" he has to come with respect, or you have nothing.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 10:03 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • i am separated form someone who, even if i used i statements, even if i was only defending myself or trying to explain i didnt mean to offend him, would call me a pice of sh*t, a g*dd*mn f8ck piece of meat, a lying f'ing c*nt, a leech a bottomfeeder, a person who sucks the life out of everyone, a failure, a f*ckup, that i f'd up my son (i didnt he is a sweetie and cool smart and gets straight a's) and he would protect our baby form my BS, that God can't help me and that he'd leave me with nothing, and more and worse..... he was usually drunk and crazed with rage.... but i couldn't believ that my marriage of one year!! had turned out this way. my sister said i tried, i really tried but this was a path for destruction. they say the mouth speaks the treasures of the heart... if that was in his heart, forget it. how can someone you love even THINK of saying that to a LOVING helpful good mother and WIFE? protect preserve n luv YOU!
    silverelf

    Answer by silverelf at 10:06 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I know what your going through.. My husband has a number of times yelled at me, called me different names, and of course no matter what I said to him or even tryed to talk to him nothig worked.. But as soon as I had the balls to stand up for my self I got into his face and showed him I wasnt scared of him and that he couldnt treat me like that.. We have 2 little boys an they dont desirve a father yelling at their mother for the littlest things.. As soon as he saw that I did infact have a back bone and got into his face, he now has more respect for me, when we do happen to get into an argument I just look at him and say do you really want to go their, an well he shuts up and goes back to what he was doing.. I was soo proud of myself, knowing that my husband can no longer treat me like crap.. Oh and we are going on our 4th yr of marriage coming this Jan with be 4 yrs..
    AirforceWife654

    Answer by AirforceWife654 at 10:09 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

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