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WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO HURT YOUR DAUGHTERS FEELINGS?

My daughter has a best friend that she loves playing with and being around. I noticed Im the only onemaking sure the children to do things with together, I always call her mother to see if my daughter can come over or she come over our house to play, I take her skating to the movies all kind of fun things. The only time her mother calls me is to return a call when me or my daughter calls. This has been going on for a while now and Im starting to feel like Her friends mother is getting sick of us or something. My daughter loves her friend and Im trying to keep them in each others lives as much as possible but it seems like my daughters friends mother doesnt want to be bothered. I dont want to hurt my daughter or her friends feelings but Im sick of being the one thats doing all the calling and planning of the activities. What would you do if you were in this situation? Back off or keep calling???

 
rosesrred1

Asked by rosesrred1 at 10:07 AM on Sep. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,976 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I'd keep calling. As long as her daughter is allowed to be around yours and she trusts you with her daughter, your daughter is happy and that's what matters to you, right??
    Since both girls are having fun, who cares if she's not the one organising the activities??

    She could be shy, or uncofortable with playdates, or having other stuff going on in her personal life you don't know about.

    GL
    mysevenkids

    Answer by mysevenkids at 10:51 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I'd back off - not stop all together, but certainly reduce the number of times you're contacting her. You shared that your daughter is old enough to initiate phone calls - that she calls the other child sometimes. If this is true, one would think that the other child would be calling her too. If that's not the case, it's quite possible that 1 - she doesn't really want to (perhaps it's her mother saying "you should go play, she doesn't have anyone else to play with" or 2 - that she will, once you reduce the number of times you're calling (it might give her a chance to "miss" the level of interaction and initiate time together).
    It's not good for anyone in any relationship to always be the "needy" one, or the one having to ask for time/help/attention. I'd back off, encouraging my daughter to nurture other friendships and let the children find their way, with each other and with other friends as well.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 10:49 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I'd keep calling. Is the other mother shy? Maybe she's uncomfortable arranging play dates? If she's not avoiding getting the kids together, I don't think she's tired of you/your daughter.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:09 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • As long as the kids are getting along and are happy, then I'd keep arranging the play dates. If the mom has something to say, hopefully she'll say it. If she didnt want her child to play w/ yours she'd make excuses of why they couldnt get together. Some people are just hard to read or get to know.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:28 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I would either ask the mom how she's feeling or just keep doing what you have been doing. If you back off without more information, it might turn out that it was unnecessary and not good for the girls.
    tyheamma

    Answer by tyheamma at 10:33 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I'd probably back off or have her play with another friend for awhile. Or you can just talk to the parent and see what she's really thinking. She may just be busy and not thinking about organizing anything.
    SalemWitchChild

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 10:09 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • id try asking the other mom if she feels overwelmed with all the activity she may want a break it may not be her trying to b rude
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 10:29 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I would try talking to the mom about how she feels about the playdates, if you don't want to talk to her then keep making playdates. If the mom is unconfortable she wil let you know.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 10:48 AM on Sep. 25, 2010

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