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Today is my daughters 2nd day of day care - when I left she was screaming. My heart shattered... I was outside the day care hysterical. Any suggestions or if this will get easier? She is 15 months and was never in day care until now

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Asked by TaylorBuz at 8:31 AM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (11)
  • As soon as you leave she'll be fine. She get so preoccupied with the other kids and toys that she wont want to leave when you pick her up lol. Just remember that she will be fine and you're doing what you have to do. She'll get over it. She's in a new place and is going to be scared. Its normal. Just give her time to adjust and dont get yourself so worked up over it :)

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:34 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Also, next time you leave let one of the teacher take her aside and distract her. That way if she doesnt see you leave it wont hurt as much. They did that with my daughter and she was fine. For instance. When you get there give her a kiss and do the whole goodbye thing. Then have one of the women change her or walk her over to a fun toy. Just sneak out when she's not looking.

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:37 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Yep...thats normal--especially since this is a new thing for her...even in kids that go to daycare regularly, they generally hit a spat of separation anxiety at some point or another.

    It sucks, and it makes you feel bad, but if you make a big deal out of it, it takes longer to go away. Come up with some sort of goodbye routine, and stick to it...the longer you stay or try to ease into leaving, the longer she is going to be upset. Most kids stop crying once they find something entertaining to occupy themselves, and really show no indication of having thought of you at all, until you go to pick them up.

    ...and eventually, they even go thru a phase where they don't want to go home with you at all--and that same fit being thrown because you are leaving, is because they have to leave with you--they would rather stay and play with their friends at the end of the

    Answer by thalassa at 8:45 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • It can take about 2 weeks for them to get used to beind droopped off. But I guarantee they are not upset for long. I worked in the toddler room of a day care and have seen it. The kids are fine throughout the day. Sometiems they will get upset in the afternoon when they see the other kids leaving, but that doesn't mean they have been upset all day! Don't worry, it'll get easier. Just give her LO a kiss goodbye and make sure she knows your leaving. It's sometimes worse to turn to look for you and have you suddenly be gone.

    My dd has been in day care since 8 weeks. Sometimes she jumps to the teach and wants nothing to do with me and sometimes she'll have a fit. Just depends on her mood in the mornings.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • i used to work at a day care we saw this all the time. kids just have bad days she will either get used to it or maybe she wont..there are kids that are in daycare for a year or 2 and still cry and scream from time 2 time.or i hate to say it but there are people that work at them that dont have kids and are cruel and mean to the children..not trying to scare you but keep your eyes open

    Answer by vadasmom at 11:08 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • It will definately get easier and do not feel guilty this will be good for her. She will have a good time playing with all the other kids especially if she is an only child. My child is 5 and an only child this is her 4th school I have taken her to. Keep in mind she is (because of my work hours) at these schools for about 12hrs every day.

    Now, she is in a christian private school my decision this time is because it is set up like a school and she is learning so much. Now I tackle with the decision on whether to enroll her in public school or just keep her in....this school only goes to 1st grade.

    It has been killing me for a couple years that I have to put her in daycare at all I wish I was rich enough to stay home with her.....but she is actually having more fun at these schools then she would ever have with it is good for your child....just make sure she goes daily so she can get used to it....

    Answer by firsttimemom496 at 11:11 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • It will be alot easier, soon
    I know it must be hard,

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 11:36 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • sorry to tell you but the only thing that fixes this is time and you reassuring her that you will be back to get her later.. I try to stay with my daughter a few minutes while she gets comfortable and then I make sure I tell her mommys going to work now, but I will be back to get you in a little while.. you stay here and play with the kids and listen to your teacher.. she cries EVERY single morning and it is hard but I know 5 mins after Im gone she is ok.

    Answer by Vonirae2 at 1:21 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • my dd likes being with her friends but she took about a week or 2 to adjust ... it takes time and i just had to remind her that i would be picking her up later

    Answer by vakatia at 1:32 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Children are normally fine after a few minutes and it will take a while for her to adjust. Its really harder on the parent! The longer you make the goodbye the harder it is for the child. If she is still upset within a month I would think about switching providers. You want to make sure that the teacher is playing her role as well to make your child adjust to this new setting. Good luck your position is definatley not easy!

    Answer by sleepymommaof2 at 2:32 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

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