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Do you allow your children to be around others who are drinking

I have a family disagreement right now, My FIL wants to have Thanksgiving at his house this year and I know him and alot of his side of the fam and they all drink so I don't want to go and want to do something else. My husband says I am wrong because they always come to our get togethers and he says we cant tell someone else what they can do in their home. I dont like to have my kids in that environment and have always maintain that through our marriage and I almost left my DH once because he would not stop beginning others over to drink. I just don't get why everytime some people get together there has to be drinking. Not sure what I am goin to do I don't want to upset anyone but what would you do?

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Jenlos

Asked by Jenlos at 8:53 AM on Oct. 21, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • as long as its just drinking not getting drunk. i dont mind my family drinks a glass or two of wine... not me but others and i dont mind but i wouldnt allow it if they had drinking problems. its just a family holiday. not some wild party.
    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 9:03 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • If they were all smashed no I wouldn't want to take my children there Thanksgiving is about spending time with family not watchind Uncle Earl puke off the front porch. If it was just a glass of wine or a beer or two with dinner then absolutley I would go. You can always go for dinner and then before people have to much to drink you can leave saying that you promised to have pie at your parents house.
    little.miss.mom

    Answer by little.miss.mom at 9:09 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • When they drink its not a glass of wine, or a beer or two. Their get to gether no matter the occasion has cases of beer and bottles of alcohol.
    Jenlos

    Answer by Jenlos at 9:15 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • If that's the case I would try and make an appearence early on to visit for a few minutes before everyone has been drinking to much. Make arrangements to have dinner elsewhere this way you don't have to suffer through the day and your husband can feel as though you are making an effort to spend time with his family.
    little.miss.mom

    Answer by little.miss.mom at 9:20 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • i agree w/ little.miss.mom thats a good idea both sides win.
    whitenena

    Answer by whitenena at 9:24 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • i think you should you, as long as you and your husband aren't drinking i don't think it should make a difference. Ya'll will be the ones taking care of him for majority of the dinner, and if you think someone has had to much to drink just distance yourself from that person!
    maddoxsmommy605

    Answer by maddoxsmommy605 at 9:37 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Doesn't bother me, but then again everyone in my family drinks. I remember watching my aunts and uncles get wasted at family parties...good times. My husband has 2-6 beers after work every day. Doesn't bother me except when he starts acting like a jack-ass (he starts acting like he is 10 and it drives me nuts).
    Truth is, unless you point it out the kids probably won't even notice if they have been drinking too much. They'll be too busy doing other stuff. I know my kids never really notice when people are drinking...except me because I hardly ever drink. Then they point it out and laugh at me.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:50 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Nothing wrong wtih drinking as long as it's not to excess. As long as those that are drinking aren't harrasing your or your child, I don't think there is anything wrong. Listen to DH and just keep an eye on the situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Well, personally here's what I would do... I would go early. That way I could help with the set up and what not and not feel guilty that we leave early. Then if the drinking gets out of hand go home... I grew up in a family where someone was always trashed so I guess that's why it doesn't bother me at get togethers... My husband and I don't drink anymore. He's been sober almost 2 years and I quit to make things a little easier on him. But his brother lives with us and is an expreme alcoholic! I don't want him around us when he is like that and I make that clear... So he stays in the basement where he belongs! In your case I would just make it clear that I don't want the kids around that but still make an effort to go! That's still family!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:37 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • This has never been a problem for me, I don't think it is an all together bad idea to let my children see adults drink. I rarely ever drink on those occastion unless my husband decides to be the des. driver and even then I can't bring myself to drink a whole lot. I feel that aslong as I am there watching out for thier safety then they are okay, plus they are around family not a bar full of drunken bikers looking to fight (no offense to bikers..lol just an example) But that is my opinoin.

    If your concerned I would find a compromise. I would still go but make sure I left when things started getting out of hand.

    Izzyscrazymom

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 11:09 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

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