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How do we as women allow ourselves to be so taken by a man?

My cousin who will be 30 in a couple of months found she is pregnant. No big deal right? But wait she is unmarried and her job used to be counseling girls and women who found out they are pregnant and don't know what to do. She has had to quit her job as a vendor. Then I tell dh she is pregnant and who by and he says no he is married with a a new baby. She had moved back home with her parents and they were going to local hotels. Didn't that send up red flags for her? He has no intention of leaving his wife but says he wants to adopt the baby. Aren't we old enough to know better? I really hate this for her but I feel like she should have been a lot smarter.

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treynlisa

Asked by treynlisa at 12:17 PM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,618 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Because when a women is in love that is all that they see, and sometimes love is blind.
    MrsNance28

    Answer by MrsNance28 at 12:20 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • WAIT! Are you kidding me?! Her job was to counsel women on what to do if they had a suprise pregnacy but when she does, she has no idea on what to do??
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 12:22 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I guess she didn't practice what she preached!
    older

    Answer by older at 12:23 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Sorry but it was a choice for her when she got involved... We have to l;ive by the choices we make. My choice for me as a woman was not to have one in my life with children or married or have been married this way we both can be green together and build our life as one with each other .. I have to say we are both happy we have 23 years of marriage and two amazing daughters .. On the other hand do not judge her just be there for her.
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 12:25 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I'm confused as to why she had to quit her job? I get that she's unmarried and pregnant, she wouldn't need to tell her patients the circumstances. At any rate, you're right, she should have been smarter - she got caught up in the moment and made a mistake.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 12:27 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Live and learn... You will have to let her figure this out on her own, and if you're a true friend, be there for her emotionally, it sounds to me like she's going to need it...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:32 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Well she should have been smarter. Having sex with a married guy is a big no, no. She is old enough to know better not to have sex with married men AND knowing that he will NEVER leave his wife and new baby for her.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 12:34 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • rose colored galsses.
    ladybug36519

    Answer by ladybug36519 at 12:58 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Its a thing called LIFE...we all fall short, regardless as to our occupations or lifestyles, we all fall short because we are human...One thing to remember though, she had a job counseling young girls in her position, BUT she never walked in their shoes...now she's in thier shoes and hopefully, all the teaching and education that she has behind her, will help her get through this. Also, age has no factor when it comes to making relationship choices. I know women in their 50's still hanging on to relationships that aren't good for them and dating the wrong men. We as women are responsible for the choices we make, when we choose to date, have a baby, etc., with a man. Since this is your cousin, be there for her without judging her decisions because she will need all the support she can recieve right now...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:01 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • The thing of it is she had that job because she had walked in their shoes. She has a 10 year old that has never even laid eyes on her bio dad. I will be there for her I just don't get it though. She wasn't planning on getting pregnant it was an accident. She would be considered an expert on birth control. I would be miserable to live with my parents indefinitely because of a dumb decision.
    treynlisa

    Comment by treynlisa (original poster) at 5:35 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

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