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7 Bumps

How did it come to this?

I think my marriage may be falling apart. DH is in the Army and works a lot, and is almost never home. When he is, he is stuck to the computer or just doing his own things. I hve to fight him to play with our daughter and feed her and whatnot. Ive talked to him, saying I need more attention to. I feel so alone all day everyday and have become very depressed. Ive tried talking to him, sitting down calmy and explaining my feelings. He say okay, but nothing ever changes. We hardly ever have sex anymroe (mostly my fault though, I havent had the drive for since DD was born) But when we do have sex, I feel like he really is just using me, mostly becasue I just dont enjoy it, it hurts me a lot of the time. I love him, I know I do. but I look back to when we first met, and I cant see how we have come this far, we have nothing in common. Im at a loss, but think maybe counsiling may be our next step. Im not ready to give up.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • You cannot fight your your marriage on your own. You need him to want to fight too. I say go to therapy. Ask him if he is still all in the marriage with you. You need to let him know you're unhappy. and that you want to fight for your marriage, but you can't do it alone.
    EttaMay

    Answer by EttaMay at 12:29 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • ^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:30 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • oh i so hear you dear....i go through the same except my husband stays away by choice not because he works a lot. I'm thinking about leaving him. I know he does not love me anymore and i think my feelings for him are more anger then love. We have a 7 year old son together, he is actually the only reason why i'm still in this mess.
    Ladyblue38

    Answer by Ladyblue38 at 12:50 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • contact me if you like...:)
    Ladyblue38

    Answer by Ladyblue38 at 12:59 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • My personal thoughts based on what you have shared..

    You guys are diconnecting as a couple. And that disconnect is most likely not caused by one single thing or spurred on by one single thing.

    For example: You are missing an emotional connection.. He is most likely missing a sexual connection.. For both of you, though in the opposite way lol. Both affect the other. For you a strong emotional connection helps to create and reinfornce a strong sexual connection. For most men, a strong sexual connection helps to create and reinforce a strong emotional connection. The hang up most couples have (and believe me, I've had it myself many years ago) is getting on the same page in order to meet BOTH sets of needs.Now sex is most likely not the only cause of this disconnect

    There are most likely other areas contributing to this disconnect.

    Have you told him that it is sex is painful and unpleasurable for U?
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:28 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Try counseling it might help
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 4:16 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I agree with both EttaMay and Pxie Trix
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:13 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

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