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how to get my husband to help more?

My husband works from 8-5 monday thru friday and im a stay at home mom but my husband thinks because he works that he dont have to help when he gets home, its really frustrating , i have tried to talk to him about this but he thinks he isnt doing anything wrong but i am with the boys all day and i get up with them at night, i just dont know what to do anymore, im so tired and i need help, any advice on what do to????

Answer Question

Asked by xashxleex87 at 3:03 PM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (109 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • have a heart to heart with him. let him know how you feel, that you NEED his help. and try not to let it turn into a fight, even though i know this can be a touchy subject.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 3:06 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Go on strike =)

    Answer by sherribeare at 3:07 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I just finished a "Dynamic Marriage" class with my husband. It is based on a book "His Needs Her Needs" it has a section on sharing chores, family committments etc. You can talk, talk, talk, but sometimes when he hears it from someplace else or sees it in black and sinks in. Worth giving to him to read. Leave it on the coffee table and see if he picks up to see what it is. The book is under the Marriage section


    Answer by momjs at 3:08 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Also when he does help, be sure not to criticize! It's a sure way for him NOT to help again.

    Answer by momjs at 3:09 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Communicate openly and calmly about the issue to your husband and see what he says.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 3:10 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Do less. When the house gets bad enough he will start chipping in. I am always amazed wht hubs and I can get done together in a 30 minute power clean session - working together after the kids are down for the night.

    Answer by karamille at 3:12 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • i would it if he would go to marriage counseling or classes or something with me but thats a long shot!

    Comment by xashxleex87 (original poster) at 3:15 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I got overly sick from stress and overexertion, and boy, those 3-4 days I was out of commission, my husband really saw how much I did each day! At the time he was working a normal 9-5, and now he works 7pm-7am 3/4 days a week. So those days I see him for about an hour, if I'm lucky. Those are the hard days, because I am literally alone with my son (and 30 weeks pregnant) and all I want to do is sleep. But on his days off he is really good about helping with the chores, even the littlest of things. I'm also sure to always thank him for helping out, even if he simply takes out the trash, or picks up after himself, because he's more willing to remember to do it again! Men love their praise, and we as women can give it to them to get what we need done around the house!

    Answer by Stephie999 at 3:31 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Well, honestly, with my family, I don't really expect my husband to help. He goes to work every day, and works very hard. Thats his job. He takes care of the money part, the cars, and the out side of the house. I take care of the kids, and the home, thats my job.
    In your situation, why not just sit down and have a heart to heart. Tell him exactly what you want help with and don't nit pick him to death when he does it.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 3:32 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • When your husband walk into the door form work he know that his day work is over. What he is not trying to understand is that from the time you wake up in the morning yours had began. And the simple fact is, that truly a woman's work is never done, your husband have to take some responsibility for helping around the house because children need lots of love from mother and father. Yes having a home, cloths and food is necessary but family come first. Hands on dad.

    Answer by karkaa at 7:54 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

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