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What do you tell your ds if his team keeps losing their games?

I know these boys do their best but is it them or the way the coaches teach. They have not yet won a game it has been 5 and no win...I tell my ds not too worry about it but do your best but my dh on the other hand tells him different he tells him how it is he'll say you did ok but you need to give it your all and if he played awful he'll let him know. I look at it like this if no one tells him how he is doing how is my ds gonna know his mess ups?
I'd rather my dh handle it not me only bc I don't want to make him feel bad about himself.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (7)
  • Every body likes to win sometimes. It was just their turn...

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:29 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Just keep encouraging him. It is often better to tell someone what it is that they are doing RIGHT rather than what they are doing wrong. If you focus on what's right, you are more likely to see MORE of that behavior (or in this case game playing).

    Answer by PhoenixFire at 4:29 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • uh, how about helping him? play with him (whatever sport it is) but don't tell him, "you need to try harder." what if he's trying as hard as he can? form is important, and that takes practice, not words.

    Answer by gracefulsky at 4:30 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Let you son hear both views and he'll decide what's the best way to look at it. So you just keep cheering him on.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 6:51 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I agree with you gettin more involve. Talk with the coach and have some good suggestions because there is always room for improvements. If the team sucks then you have to tell him baby this just not yall yr. Keep encouraging him and helping him improve where he is

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:36 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • It's absurd to me to even consider that it's "the way the coaches teach". If they're losing, it's generally a result of how they're playing. I agree with your husband, he can't learn unless he's being told what he's doing wrong - just be sure to also tell him what he's doing right (specifically, not just "you're wonderful". Just as winning is part of the game, so is losing. The best thing that you can do is teach him to be a gracious loser - and a gracious winner as well.

    Answer by justnancyb at 4:07 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I know exactly what you mean, the coaches on my younger son's baseball were aweful. The didn't know the game or the rules. My older son ended up coaching one time before their last two games, the kids finally started to understand the rules. This was baseball. Unfortunately where we live its all based on volunteer coaches for baseball. They never pumped the boys up, they never showed disappointment (yes there were some kids with no effort) and they never taught them the game or had regular practices.
    That being said - their team lost every single game they played and it was horrible (I mean 45 - 0, 33 - 2 just aweful) My son didn't want to go the last 4 games, other kids pretty much stopped playing. I listened to him complain, we talked about what he could do better, and how he could pump up his team. I told him he is part of team, they need him win or loose, and as long he was doing his best that was most important

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:39 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

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