Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

When did having a baby become a bad thing?

We discuss abortion almost everyday on here. What I want to know is does everyone consider having a baby a negative thing? I have three kids and would continue to have them if my body was capable. I use no birth control and do not believe in it for personal reasons. I could not imagine having the mindset that children are a bother or an irritation. I am desperatly trying to understand others mindsets, feel free to enlighten me.

Answer Question
 
SusieD250

Asked by SusieD250 at 11:38 AM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Politics & Current Events

Level 4 (40 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • Well, sometimes having a baby is a bad thing. Overpopulation is a bad thing. If you are unable to take care of yourself, or the kids you already have, adding yet another baby would be a bad thing. I don't use birth control, mostly because I don't want the hormonal changes, but as soon as I have the money I am going to take permanent measures to insure that I don't have anymore kids. I am happy with my family, I love the two boys I already have. I have no desire to go through 9 months of pregnancy, and an exhausting first year with a new baby. Should I become pregnant will I get an abortion? Probably not, I just don't see myself ever being able to go through with it. Will I be happy about another baby, def. not, but I would make it work as best I could.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 11:51 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Susie---I appreciate your post!!!! My three were the greatest blessings in this life. I don't feel I was "cheated" by staying home with them! Many people feel being a mom and wife is 'below' a woman and she is wasting her 'life'---I can't think a better way to spend 25 years:-) It goes by so fast!

    Ronnie80

    Answer by Ronnie80 at 11:51 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I don't think most people think children are a bother or an irritation... I think they are concerned about not being able to provide for their children. Concerned about not being able to feed them, clothe them, love them. Some women know they can't care for a child but don't want to go on welfare to do so. Some women know they can't give the child the love and attention it deserves.
    I know we all have a stereotype of the typical woman getting an abortion. Usually, it's a teenage girl or a young 20-something. That's actually wrong. Abortions in those groups have been dropping. The group that gets the most abortions is women in their late 20's and 30's who already have at least one child. I would imagine the decision is extremely hard to make for these women. They know what it is to be a mom. They know what it takes to care for an infant.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 11:53 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I have 2 kids. I love them both very much but when I found out I was prego I cried for days. I didn't want children. Children are innconvienient in the sence that you have to mold your life around them in order to be a good parent. For me it was giving up my full time job, giving up going out when ever I wanted, not smoking (even though I love it), and giving up alcohol... Not to mention what it did for my figure... So yes, it changed my life. It's a hassle that was never there. And for people that choose to be selfish having children is not an asset... I have two boys that I could never live without NOW... But if I got pregnant again, I would give it up... No doubt. The stress, the money issues, and all the hassle that come with parenthood, isn't bad, it just isn't for everyone!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • pro-choicers are not the ones posting this every day. pro-lifers are. everyday trying to impose their views and beliefs on the rest of us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I think I see what you are trying to say... IMO, some people are more concerned with a women's right to choose, then they are about the life that was created. That being said~ I, personally can see certain cases in which an abortion might need to be an option. But in other cases, if they choose to have sex, then they should accept the responsibility and hold themselves accountable.
    grlygrlz2

    Answer by grlygrlz2 at 12:00 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • if they can spread their legs they can give the baby up or learn to deal with parenthood. In cases where the mothers life is in danger like she will die tonite if the baby is not removed is the only exception for abortion.
    lovemybabys1106

    Answer by lovemybabys1106 at 12:05 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • the reasons can be as different as the individual in question.
    i have a friend who doesn't ever want to have children because he feels like it's too great of a responsibility.
    heatherama

    Answer by heatherama at 12:05 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • if they can spread their legs they can give the baby up or learn to deal with parenthood.

    the next time i meet a rape victim and/or a victim of incest I'll remember to tell them to keep their legs cross
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Susie: I don't see a a baby/child as negative. I think we mature as mother's to appreciate the lives we have created. As we mature, we accept our responsibility. When I had my first child I had just left coporate America, we moved to a new state 2000 miles away and I (hines sight) was being selfish and wanted to have "my" time, it took a few weeks of my daughter and I being home alone after her birth for me to mature and redirect my alltention to this wonderful life my husband and I had created. Now, that they are older, I think how boring my life woud be without them...
    grlygrlz2

    Answer by grlygrlz2 at 12:09 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.