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my 8yr old still pees the bed- not on purpose and hubby makes coments about it all the time

my son is embarrassed when he does this. happens almost nightly, yes i have taken him to the doctor and he said its his bladder not developed all the way yet. i told my husband over and over that is why but he still brings it up. i hate it when he does it in front of his friends. i get so mad and we sometimes have huge fights over it cause i feel its not helping.he says hes just trying to help, but embarrassing him isn't going to help. anyone had this problem and how did u deal with it?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • My son still has accidents, but it's getting better. We started cutting his drink off at 7pm and make him go to the bathroom right before bed. Since you're son has a medical reason I'm not sure what to say. But your husband is being very insensitive to the issue. Your son isn't doing it on purpose. You need to talk to him and let him know how hurtful his words are....not only to you but to your son also.
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 12:12 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Your husband is harming your son just as surely as if he called him a stupid, worthless piece of trash every day of his life. You know that and most likely your husband does too - which is probably why he gets so upset when you call him on it. He knows he is wrong so he gets angry and attacks.
    I don't know what to tell you about your husband. He isn't likely to change even if you turned him in for child abuse. I'd suggest you work with your son instead. Ask him why things are sold in stores - are the companies just being nice or do they want to make a profit? Ask him why they sell "Good Nights" - is it just for your son or does he think there are lots of other kids too? He is not alone though he may feel he is.
    Then, have you tried a bed wetting alarm? They WORK, especially for older kids. You can get them online or at most medical supply stores.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 12:21 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • My oldest was a bed wetter, and we tried everything, he just finally grew out of it thank God. You need to let your husband know that making snide little comments is only going to hurt your son and it will make the problem last longer.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:24 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • My brother had encoperesis....it affected him well into his teen years...my father also embarassed and teased him often. He tried to commit suicide for the 1st time at 14, then successfully again at 28. Tell your husband to lay off...it is emotional abuse, and I pray that it doesn't affect your son too deeply.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 12:56 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I was a bed wetter at that age. I am still so grateful to my mother for the way she handled it, with so much discretion and absolutely no shame or embarrassment. It could have been a traumatic time for me, but her approach allowed me to keep my dignity intact. What your husband is doing is really terrible. I honestly hope he just doesn't realize how cruel and thoughtless he is being. I'm not sure what I would do in your shoes, other than just be extremely firm with him that he is not to open his mouth about it ever, ever again, and then you might sit down with your son and try to undo some of the damage that has been done.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 1:57 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I nannied a 6 and 10 yr old who did this and the only thing harder than the thousands of loads of wash was seeing how much it upset them. I cut off all liquids 2 hours before bed, made them potty before bed and then woke them up when I went to bed (usually between 10 and 12) to potty again. Worked great with the exception of the night the 6 yr old got mad at me for waking him up and stomped in to the bathroom gave me the dirtiest look I have ever seen and proceeded to pee on the wall while staring me down. Stomped back to bed and turned his back on me LOL. I dont know if it will work for your little guy and mayeb you have already tried this. cont...
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 4:18 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • As for hubby I would dump warm water on his lap while he is sleeping then wake up and scream "Did YOU just PEE the bed!!!!" LOL okay maybe not. Men are dense. Maybe trying to get your hubby to remember a time as a child when he was really ashamed of something and his parents made him feel worse about it might help
    humaniterian87

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 4:18 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Yes your husband needs to pull his head out of his ass. He is causing your son emotional harm. Get info from your doc or online and make him read it. He needs to stop behaving like he is the 7 yr old. Is he the one soaked in pee? Is he the one changing the sheets? How exactaly is this affecting his life? Tell him to get over himself.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:25 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

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