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how can i get used to being separated? adult content

i never wanted this. my hisband is gettin gAlL sorts of help. he wants to reconcile. his son and his family push for it too,. i didnt want to live alone but am doign okay. i cant go back too soon because he is alcoholic and a mean one at that, really mean. and also now has major depressive disorder and panic disorder. but how am i supposed to (with tips from you guys) make it thru this transition its been three months and i still feel a fear sharp pain in my tummy each day at some point when will that go away. i also have had no sex in three months but i am liek a camel and can and will go long periods as I dont want anythign frivolous or unsafe, as i have two children who are young 7 and six months. this sort of sux yet obviously it is a harsh new beginning. oi finally organized my small place today after moving in two weeks ago i had been stayin gwith a friend!! sheesh.

 
silverelf

Asked by silverelf at 9:48 PM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,114 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Write down what you want for your life and the life of your children. Stick it on the front of your refregerator. When you start getting lonely, you look at those things. Start down the list. One thing at a time, one day at a time. I'm sorry to say, but your husband is a walking timebomb! Being bi-polar & manci depression myself I can say we are not easy to live with. Nothing is ever normal. The fact that he is self medicating with drinking only magnifies the problem and it becomes more intense and I'm sure you've experienced. It doesn't matter how much you love him. Without proper medication and seeing a therapist, he is unable to change. Getting the right dose takes time. I've been trying for 15 years! I'm thankful my husband is a caregiver and God has blessed him with a lot of patiences and mercy toward me. He has to take meds for uncontrolable anger. We do great now! If he gets physical with u, Leave and don't come back
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 6:56 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • One day at a time. As for the sex....not sure you want to hear this but when I left I had to take care of my own needs for a while! It's never easy transitioning but you sound like you know it's something that has to be done so you both can get healthy. Maybe going to those meetings for spouses of alcoholics might help
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:51 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • You can do it, do for your kids. It will get better.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 9:54 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • You just do it. Time will get you used to it. :)
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:52 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • just remember how miserable you were with. obviously pretty mad if your not with him anymore. lifes to short to be in an unhappy relationship. this has to be better. it lessens day by day so set a goal to go one wk, then another wk so on and so until one day you realize hey i'm ok and don't really feel bad anymore.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:53 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Its something you have to get adjusyed to and you have to find out what works and what does not work for me it was writing a journal I am about to become single again and I have made goals and set up things that helped me and made my transition easier. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:08 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • It can't be easy to be alone but you can do it. It is a day to day process. Me and my husband have had our problems and we had to take it day by day to get through some hard times. I wish I could say something useful but thats really all I know.
    momofangels5

    Answer by momofangels5 at 10:33 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

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