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4 Bumps

A few questions...

Is it okay that occasionally my boyfriend's mother drives me nuts? Or that sometimes I feel like my boyfriend has expectations that are too high of me? Like he always expects me to be in a good mood, even if he's in a bad one? I don't feel that way all the time, sometimes I just notice more than others, like when work stresses him out and he expects me to be in a good mood, to supplement his crappy one. We are happy together and make each other happy, I don't want any one to get the wrong impression, I just wonder if other women have felt like this too?

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countrygirl1987

Asked by countrygirl1987 at 10:57 PM on Sep. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (364 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • First question: It's 100% normal that your boyfriend's mother drives you nuts. Trust me, it doesn't get much better after you get married and/or start having kids together. lol

    As for your second question, if your boyfriend is having a bad day, he's probably hoping that you'll be in a good mood and help cheer him up. If you're having a crappy day too, just let him know. It's normal to have high expectations of your SO, and it's really frustrating when they don't meet them. Try not to let it get to you and take the good with the bad.
    Journey311

    Answer by Journey311 at 11:33 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I think that since no two people are the same, they are not going to have exactly the same mood all the time. I think that it is too much to expect one to be happy all the time because all of us have problems and run into difficult situations.
    Svetlana98usa

    Answer by Svetlana98usa at 11:35 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • I just feel bad that she gets on my nerves. Not all the time, but definitely more when my boyfriend's sister is in town. She has two kids, and my boyfriend and I have a son together, so when the sister is here, she wants all her grandkids together, but when the sister is gone, she's flaky about seeing him. And she isn't as nice to my bf when his sis is here either. I don't want it to affect my relationship with him, because she's always going to be the mom, but I don't think I should bite my tongue either. What should I do about the mom aspect?
    countrygirl1987

    Comment by countrygirl1987 (original poster) at 11:43 PM on Sep. 25, 2010

  • Tolerance. You have lots of time to work on developing it. She isn't going to change and you starting a rift in the family is NOT the way to make this better. Just put up with it and let your kids have whatever time they can with their grandma and cousins. It's about them now, not you :)

    I can't STAND my MIL and thankfully she lives in another province but when she is here I put up with her and let my kids have their time with her. I don't have to like her but as long as she treats my kids right I keep my mouth shut.
    Allergic2Stupid

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 3:03 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Yes all that sounds normal
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 4:32 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Since you know you need to go to his mom's home, maybe there are a few things you can do. 1) Decide with your boyfriend to limit your time there. Like 30 minutes. Another thing you can do is take the opportunity to go for a walk while they all visit. Or sit outside and call a friend. You could also get into doing some craft like knitting or reading a book while they visit. Anything to talk your attention and nerves off the situation. As far as how he's treated by his mom. He has to make the cholce of how much he's willing to put up with and how often. You don't always have to go to her house just because she calls. Meet the sister somewhere else for a visit. Heck, set it up that the mom has to meet you all somewhere. (not your home. Sometimes they take over or complain) Bring her flowers. Send her a card thanking her for the time she gives to your child. Ask her out for lunch or a show? Hope this helps
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 6:13 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

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