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2 Bumps

What do you suggest?

My boyfriend was promoted at work several months ago, and hates his job more now than he did pre-promotion. Because of the added stress, he is almost always in a bad mood, stressed out, or defensive. At times it feels like walking on eggshells with him. He tells me it has nothing to do with me (his mood), and that when he is upset/bothered by something, he shuts down. I know that this for a fact is true, so I can understand that part of it. But lately, to me, it seems like he complains about things I do. Like, he seems to always expect me to be in a good mood. Maybe to help counter his bad one. And he told me today that I occasionally got on his nerves and complained. I know he was just being honest, but it hurt my feelings. Should I take this personally? Attribute it to the fact that his work stress is making him unhappy with himself overall?

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countrygirl1987

Asked by countrygirl1987 at 12:49 AM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (364 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I am betting that his attitude is directly related to his work. It is exactly the way that my husband is. Try to hold out and hope that things improve for him and then will in turn be better at home.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 12:52 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Thanks:). I didn't know if it was his unhappiness with me (like I mentioned, he says it has nothing to do with me), or with work, so I thought I'd ask others for advice.
    countrygirl1987

    Comment by countrygirl1987 (original poster) at 12:55 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Seeing as you are also posting/asking about not liking his mom, I think you guys need to talk. I think communication is key any realtionship and you guys need to talk. Having a sressful job is hard on a relationship, but he might not realize he has changed.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 12:56 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • My SO did this for a while but one day I was just annoyed, our relationship was strained and I just sat him down and let him know that his work drama and stress needs to stay at work and he needs to not bring it home because it caused issues. He understood and he stopped. a few times I caught him griping and I would remind him of our rule and he'd get it and change the subject. It was crucial to our home environment that he get it together.

    So I think you should come up w/some sort of rule for this as well. it worked for me, may work for you to at least try it
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:57 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • we have a no bringing it home policy.lol.. i got sick after about 6months of complaining whinning being mean .and told him if he had a problem with me then say it and ill do what i can to fix it if i cant then ill leave. if its work then get a new job or stop being mean to me about the one u have. he said it was work and now a year and a half later he is alot better,every now and then hell be mean and then apologize
    mayo9mommy

    Answer by mayo9mommy at 1:04 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Dont take it personally he has a lot going on and when you are already in a bad mood things bug you more then they normally would
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 4:22 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Ever heard the saying," We take it out on the ones we love?" Its true. He must love you a lot! However, you are not a door mat to be walk all over or his punching bag. Get him a pass to a gym that has punching bags where he can get his agressions out on. Or some other physical activity. Maybe go run or hike or bike together. It gets those endorphines going which helps upgrade our moods to be more possitive. See if you have those game places where you can do paint ball or Laiser Wars. Thats always fun. Something to get him laughing and his work off his mind. Maybe you guys like movies. Have a night of funny movies. When he's in those funky moods take him out. Heck, even McDonalds only cost a dollar for a double burger! Or go to the park that has swings and such. Or find a pool where he can swim. I hope this helps! Oh, don't take it personal. Keep your head up! You're doing great!!
    Prayerpartner

    Answer by Prayerpartner at 4:42 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

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