Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

If you chose or are choosing to have just 1 kid, what were/are your reasons?

Financial? Medical? Just too stressful??

Seems like all the moms I know (most of them 1st timers like me) are either pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or just had their 2nd baby. I feel like the only one who's not trying to get pregnant, mostly because raising my first hasn't been the easiest on me, and having to do it again kind of terrifies me.

Answer Question
 
phoofy

Asked by phoofy at 3:03 AM on Sep. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,655 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Have one son and have NO plans for more. We are happy and feel complete as a family. There are financial, health, and other practical reasons too, but honestly we could make it work if we really wanted more kids. We just don't. Don't let what others choose decide what it right for you. Love your only child and take time for yourself too, if you need it, instead of piling on more stress that you aren't sure you even want. That's my attitude anyway :)
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 3:07 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • My hubby and I have one DD(she is wonderful) I had her when i was 30 and we decided that we didn't want to have anymore for the fact that he has 2 other children and my age had a big facter in also. We would like to but what works for us wouldn't work for others. Besides the fact that my SC are 13 and 9 and our DD is 2.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:11 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • i didn't plan on the first one, when i was 35. being @ 40, and my dh being 7yrs older, we just decided it wasn't for us, to have another.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 3:14 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I dont agree with having 1 child.
    I was a only child and Know that I am older it would have been nice to have a sibling to relate to and be close to. I have a long list of reasons why I didnt like being a only child. I know it is easier on parents. But.....

    just my experience.
    Seterah1010

    Answer by Seterah1010 at 4:05 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I have one son. We lost our daughter when she was 5 months old. We tried for a while to have another baby, but I kept miscarrying. The doctor told me that's enough. I have high blood pressure, which has damaged my heart and kidneys. It was too much stress on my body. So the choice was out of our hands, although, I would love to have more kids.
    tracy0812

    Answer by tracy0812 at 6:40 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Tracy, I am so sorry for your loss. We have one son. I was an only child for a long time. DH has brothers and sisters. We just felt like one child was right for us. It is a personal opinion that I think only you and your husband can make based on what is best for your family.
    Codysmom2106

    Answer by Codysmom2106 at 8:23 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • i was an only children for 15 years and i was so lonely! i feel as though i missed out on alot of experinces i would have had if i had a sibling closer to my age. i have two kids and they are good playmates, now they have their days where they dont like each other.
    jamiethornton26

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 9:48 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I was set on only one child after I had my daughter just because I was a single teen mom. For me it was too stresful, I had financial problems and thought that being a mommy wasn't for me. Now I have another son and I'm going to have a daughter in Feb 2010. My opinion change when I met the right guy for us.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 10:17 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I am afraid because I am 43 soon to be 44. I also had a gastric bypass an I gain 70 pounds after I had her. I am afraid that I wont be around when they need me because I will be too old.
    emilysmom1966

    Answer by emilysmom1966 at 12:14 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • My situation is somewhat unique. I am custodial SM I have been raising my DSS with his father since he was almost 2 & he is now almost 5. His BM is less & less involved with him as time has gone on. I view DSS as my "first" child. I do wish I had gone through pregnancy & infancy with him but, I am torn. Whie I still desire to have that, I do think that there are certain advantages of being an only. Like being more financially able to provide oppurtunities for him. But, I also would love for DSS to have a sibling. It's unlikely that his BM will ever have one & even if she did it would be really difficult to for them to bond when he hardly sees his BM. His father & I would both like to have another but, again we're still deciding. We will not ttc until we have a house, though.
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 12:33 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN