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3 Bumps

How do you deal when they meet a new set of friends?

Along with the new boyfriend comes his friends by default, and since my dd's lifelong best girlfriends do not have boyfriends, these new "friends" tend to be the ones she hangs out w/when she goes places w/bf. Most are 16. One of the girls, we have noticed, is always on her bf's lap, and one couple my dd admitted without saying names, is sexually active. None, including bf, are academically inclined. My dd is a high honors student, and I know she just wants to have fun, but we are concerned that the more she's with these kids, the more negatively influenced she will become. So far, she has acknowledged that bf is nice, but isn't too smart (her best friends have commented), and I know he is trying to "get her to have more fun-put those books down". She is fairly impressionable, esp w/boys. Would you be so cautious as to limit time with them? What would I say to my DD without seeming overprotective?(yes,we talk about sex often)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • If you limit her time, she will find the time. All you can do is have that sex talk again. Maybe introduce her to birth control. If your daughter feels ready to have sex, then it will happen. I was sixteen when I lost my virginity and i thank god that i had my friend who introduced me to birth control methods because he was a huge mistake!

    Answer by alejandra559 at 9:06 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • i would cutt it off and explain to her that she need to be with someone that shares her

    Answer by mekarevell at 11:28 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • i talk to them an their friends openly..she how the friends react to my convo or topic..if i feel that their body language isnt right i tell my kids what i feel..
    i also let my teens know that the lines of communications are open an w/o judgement..
    but me an my kids have a gd relationship anyways..they usually bring their friends by so i can give them my honest op on them bfor they hang wit them..

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 1:21 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I would get to know these new friends. Your daughter obviously is concerned about her performance at school and maybe just making your concerns known and encouraging her to be true to herself, offering your support and talking to her will be enough. My daughter has balanced her high academics and a boyfriend who is academically challenged for 5 years. Try to remember who your daughter is and not let your fears for what could happen get in the way. Good Luck to you!

    Answer by MomIWant at 10:19 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Ask him directly for his report card and tell him directly, that he cannot date your daughter until you see and approve of the report card. The blame is off you, and puts the responsibility in his lap. Be nice to the kids, be helpful to the kids, but just let him know immediately he has to be up to par with your and her standards.
    One thing I had heard from a retired Marine Officer that worked for his daughters, was he used to invite the boys to all of their family funcitons and events. And would let the pressure from having to be judged by others out of their comfort zone rule. The serious boyfriends would stay and do better for themselves, the fools would break up with the daughters because it was too hard for them to have a good time or be themselves. He has 3 daughters of which 1 is a lawyer now and 2 are doctors. Also encourage more time for her to be with her dad and motivate her self esteem. GL!!!

    Answer by jewjewbee at 12:21 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I would limit time a little so that her studies weren't influenced.

    Be sure she knows school comes first, then boys.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:02 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • the rest, she's best learning on her own.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:03 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

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