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lost friends after having baby?

im not sure if its that i lost friends after having LO, but i know forsure i dont talk to half of them as much as i used to. Im 19 and i feel like as soon as all my friends found out me and DH were having a baby, alot of them cut off contact with us...why is that? The only friends i still talk to really are the ones who also have kids..

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hotmommy420

Asked by hotmommy420 at 9:50 AM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (795 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Then they were never really your friends in the first place. Real friends do not stop talking to you because you've had a baby.
    Syphon

    Answer by Syphon at 9:53 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I guess at the age of 19 it is more of a maturity thing, maybe. And maybe they didn't necessarily "cut off contact"...it could be your life has changed and you also aren't contacting them. Plus they may not want to invite you to do things that they know you can't go to, so intern they may not want to upset you by asking you to do something you can't do. Plus, looking back to the age of 18 to 22 I changed sooo much each year. And I wasn't married or a mother. It's a big time of growth and change in anyone's life, and I changed friends a lot from 18 to 24, changing with my interests, maturity, where I lived, etc. It's sad to say, but I only have 1 friend left from my college days, and even we don't talk a lot. But when we do it's as if nothing changed. Enjoy the friends you have and friends you make.
    2BlondeBabies

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 9:54 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • i had the same problems. i think the childless friends dont feel like they can relate to the pregnant friends. at your age most teens arent thinking about being married and having kids. they are mostly into partying and hanging out with friends. your real friends will come back around.
    jamiethornton26

    Answer by jamiethornton26 at 9:54 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I can see that happening when you are young. Your friends have different interest and their lifestyles are different since they have no children.
    I had my first baby when I was 26 and all of the couples we knew were also having thier first or second babies...we all had that in common.We were older.
    I guess you will have to find friends who are also parents.Good luck!
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 9:57 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I think alot of times its kind of a natural course for things like this. Once you have kids, your kid-less friends have less to relate to with you. You lose the ability to go and do things the way you once did, so distance occurs.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 10:05 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I got married at 22 had my first child at 23 and 'lost' contact with a lot of my friends. We no longer had much in common. They were not married and would go out in search of dates. Something I no longer did. I was in a different season in my life from them. I was 'grown up' and knew what I wanted. I was settled down and starting a family and they were still searching for their future. I had 2 very close friends that were also at that same point and we are still friends today. I still chat every now and then with my other friends because we still care about each other, we just don't really hang out. It would be hard for us to have that much to talk about our interest are SO different now! I can only imagine it would have been even more so if I had married even younger.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:07 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I got married at 19 then pregnant at 21. I noticed a drop-off in friendships at each stage (as far as my old friends went.) I think it is a matter of just not having much in common with those people anymore. I'm in my mid 20's now and my husband is mid 30's, and it seems from our experiences it's just part of growing up to some extent.
    Kisses4Henry

    Answer by Kisses4Henry at 10:26 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • When I got pregnant at 18 I didn't hang out with my friends as much. They were still into partying and stuff. I was married and expecting a baby, so I stopped hanging out with them. I still talk to them to this day. They are all mommies now too.
    PoisonousBlonde

    Answer by PoisonousBlonde at 10:40 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • some of my so called friends quit talking to me after i had my son. oh well though. i don't need friends who can't understand i have a son. that's why my few friends are family who have children. real friends would be happy for you and want to be around your baby.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 12:06 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

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