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How do I parent my daughter and my step daughter together as well as dealing with my step daughter mother?

I am a mother of a 9 yr. old girl and a step parent to a 9 year old girl for as far as they can remember. They both know that neither my husband nor I were ever married to their other parent. Our daughters spend a lot of time together. They get compared a lot by everyone and sometimes even us because they are so similar. How do I deal with the competition that each gives off to one another? How do i deal with it when my step daughter comes to our house with new toy or brags about things she done with her mother? It that makes my daughter feels like she isn’t equal and questions the way I parent her? How do I explain it my daughter that is not how you act? How do i deal with the competition of my step daughter's mother trying to "one up" me every time i do something for my step daughter? This has been a problem since day one. Please help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in General Parenting

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