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Follow up from last weeks fiasco!

Remember how I came home after being gone all weekend, & the house was a mess. Alot of you said to just leave it. Well, I did leave a pan soaking in the sink- Until I finally broke down & washed it yesterday! (6 days later!) UGH! Any tips on how to "motivate" husb that doesnt involve a foot in his lower regions!?

 
mrsmom110

Asked by mrsmom110 at 11:22 AM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 48 (281,323 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If you figure it out, share the wealth. We've been married three years and nothing gets done unless I do it.
    flitpixie

    Answer by flitpixie at 11:31 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I thnk that is the million dollar question!!!
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:37 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Have you tried sitting down while you're calm, cool, and collected and having a talk with him? Doing it while you're angry will probably just end up in a big explosion, but if you sit down while you're both level-headed and explain to him that you could use some help and that it really upset you that you came home and the house was an absolute wreck and that he did nothing to help you with it, he might get angry but I bet he'd start chipping in! Communication is so important, so start now before you explode in anger!
    mbdc

    Answer by mbdc at 11:39 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Not sure of the history but if he doesn't help now, sorry to say, he may not start helping because a dish is left soaking. It's going to take a serious discussion about what it would take for him to step up and help out. I wouldn't say be calm about it but firm.
    socialworker227

    Answer by socialworker227 at 5:48 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Stop doing his laundry......then when he kicks in and starts helping you, start doing it again. Just to let him know what it feels like to have the whole load on you.....Good luck hon

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 11:30 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Stop doing things for him. Inform him (make a list) these are the things you will not be doing anymore. Tell him if he does not pick up his stuff you will put it in a bag and place all of it on the back porch or in the garage.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:40 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I agree stop doing his things
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:47 AM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • When we fight mine tends to do housework all week. I'd rather he apologize but I guess its his way of saying sorry. Otherwise he doesn't do much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I don't know about the whole sit down when you all calm thing. I found that when I had a mini melt down worked. When he saw that I was so damned overwhelmed, and that I needed help, he realized that he needed to help. He was what it was doing to me. When he saw, actually saw the changes in my face, body language and voice go from anger to frustration to IDK what, defeat?, it hit him. It hurt him that so much had built up and I took it all in. Sometimes when you are all calm and collected, they just don't get the seriousness of it all.
    When the man works outside of the home, they get time off. They get the drive time by themselves, they get the weekends off, vacation time off, all that. SAHM are on 24hr duty. If the kids puke in the middle of the night, we get up. We may get to take a nap in the day, but getting up to clean that up really disrupts everything. It's not easy being a SAHM. We get NO time off. They don't get it.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 1:50 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Obviously you didn't discuss boundaries when you married so now do it. Tell him what you expect from him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

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