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always an argue!!!

When i try to talk to my husband about his mom and the way that she treats me, he gets defensive and feels like i am making a big deal out of nothing. how do i get it through his head that i cant take his mothers constant nagging, without starting an argument between us? And i have tried to deal with it, just between me and her, but she just ignores me.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I dunno I'm going through the same problem...and my boyfriend used to say "its between you and her". I don't really pay much attention to what she says to me personally but when it comes to raising my daughter I can't keep my mouth shut...shit hit the fan when I told my BF I wouldn't bring my daughter to his moms house until they fixed a door that led to their pool and when his mom called me out saying I was keeping my daughter from them.he kept saying the same thing"its between you two" so I said alright...then I won't let MY daughter go to HER house. keep it between you and the inlaw then and don't go over there until he's ready to step in and defend you.
    cuddlek

    Answer by cuddlek at 2:45 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • nothing you can do really. You can't really tell him how to interact with his mother or tell her how to interact with him.

    if she is nagging you, you can talk to her about it, but if it's her son she's nagging, you really don't have a place in it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:38 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Simply have no further contact with his mother. Nobody has the right to treat another person in an angry or mean or disrespectful way. You don't have to have that in your life. Perhaps she doesn't like you, and that's why she treats you like that. So you'd be doing all of you a good favor. Neither you or she would have to deal with each other and husband wouldn't have to listen to it.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 2:39 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Maybe he get defensive because he knows what his mother is doing..
    Tell him to step up to the plate and talk to his nasty momma..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • maybe it's how you tell him. if you said i feel this way then he shouldn't get to defensive cause you have the right to feel that way about what she has done and he can't take that away from you. never say she does this, i feel she does this and that makes me feel this way, i feel that she is doing this cause i feel, get it? it's how you feel about the situation.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 3:01 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I think that it is very important for your husband to respect your feelings and have some concern when you are upset. If his mother is truely offending you (not just a minor annoyance) then it needs to be discussed. The best way to get her to stop is for her very own son to say something to her. He doesnt have to change her personality and behavior but he should stand up for you when he sees that she is offending you. You deserve to be defended and treated with respect and he has responsability to you as his wife. I also commend you on trying to work it out with her personally. My mother and I have both had problems with the mom in law and it didnt work for us either so dont stress about that. =)
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 3:34 PM on Oct. 21, 2008