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How to help him cope

Long story short.... My husband use to work over seas doing special operations... He got hurt a little over a year ago and is no longer able to do anything to physical so basically now he is going to school and living off disability,

he's not happy being a normal person living a normal life style, yes hes happy that he is home with his family but you can just tell he misses his job... I know he loves me and our kids but there is a part of him gone that I know I cant replace and now not only is he depressed... I'm depressed because he doesnt seem as happy as he use to be..

how do we go about this?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • i wld help him find something ew. Having a hoby, or something else he can do to fee more useful will help. Alot of men feel awful if they are not physically doing something that makes a difference to someone. There are other things he can do, just help him find something he likes, and make him feel like you still need him to help you with things....

    Answer by momof3josephs at 1:23 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I wish it was as simple as that momof3jospehs... there is nothing he can do being in the states that compares to what his job was..


    Answer by FITmama2B at 1:28 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • You just support him and encourage him. He's the one who has to make the transition. It's internal. He needs to learn to choose to be happy, find the things that make him feel good, find new things to help himself feel "whole". It will take time.

    Answer by justnancyb at 1:35 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • It's a change and transition that he is just going to have to adjust to. And part of that adjustment is acceptance of this change.. And accepting and realizing that he has to change, he has to find new avenues, that he has to look into himself and look towards something else that is fulfilling and interesting to him... Those things, those things aren't easy to do, and they do not happen overnight. You can't make him happy, true happiness and contentment with the new situation can only come from within him. Don't let him wallow necessarily, but you honestly can't be too "pushy ' (for lack of a better term, not implying that you are being pushy).. Supportive and understanding is the best you can do at this point and time..

    Hopefully through school and expanding his own horizons he will pull himself out of this funk and pull himself back together.. If not. Professional help may be needed to help him.

    Good luck :-)

    Answer by pixie_trix at 1:42 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • DEPEND on him! Ask him to help you out with things instead of always handling them yourself as you did while he was away. Make him feel useful....

    Answer by ParklaneMom at 4:33 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

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