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my year and a half old daughter is hitting me........

my daugheters new thing it hitting me when she dont get her way and i dont wanna spank her or anything cuz then that gives her a reason to think its ok to hit ive try putting her in time out but she just laughs at me when i do i also tell her its naughty and not nice to hit but then she just keeps hitting me....... what should i do

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ilovehersomuch

Asked by ilovehersomuch at 3:09 PM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (62 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Spanking does not = a reason for her to hit you....
    I spank so...good luck :)

    I have seen some that when the kid bites, they either spank the child (NOT abuse) or bite them back. Been doing it since the dawn of age...
    CandyHorse

    Answer by CandyHorse at 3:12 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • My DD is 2.5 and doing the same thing. The first time she did that, I grabbed her hand (forcefully, but not enough to hurt) and I said "No, hitting. That's a No No. That hurts Mommy." She tried another time or two, but after a while she got the message. She will still test me from time to time, but ever since that first time with it, she has stopped after the first "no". Now that she's getting a bit older and she raises her hand to hit, I say in a warning voice "Kaycee...what is that?" And she says "A no no!" and stops what she's doing. Good luck!

    CMcLaws

    Answer by CMcLaws at 3:15 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I would spank her, I have a 2 year old and she did that to me also, I just hit her right back told her no don't hit mama, then put her in the corner! She hasn't done that since then, all because you spank your child it does NOT mean you are abusing them, it is just another way to discipline, nothing wrong with that! Good luck
    B716

    Answer by B716 at 3:15 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • my son does that. what works for us is "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO YOUR ROOM?" he screams NO and stops lol. His room isnt all that bad, it's the thought of being confined in there when all the action is elsewhere. Definately dont bite back. It works for some, but for others it becomes a biting game.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 3:21 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Next time it happens you grab her arms, get eye to eye and say in a very firm voice NO! Hitting is not okay. Then you put her in time out. Choose a place where there is little to no stimulation. She must sit, quietly for at least 1 minute. If hse gets up, put her back...even if you have to do it 30 times. She will learn you mean what you say. Do it every time she hits.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:22 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • It's great that you recognize that spanking teaches kids to hit. Parents should not hit or bite kids to teach them to not hit or bite. One of the other reasons this doesn't work is that a one year old doesn't have empathy (the ability to feel things for others, some adults don't have empathy). They haven't gotten to this developmental skill.


    Try to figure out if there is some kind of thing that leads up to hitting - frustration, stress, hunger. Watch for times she might hit and change the situation so she doesn't get a chance. Don't lecture about how it's naught & not nice, a 1 yo doesn't understand this. "You may not hit." Move her away from you and turn away.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:23 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Here is a very good article about why saying no doesn't work with toddlers and why they tune it out


    http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/804952/how-to-say-no-without-saying-no


    Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary is a very good toddler parenting book. Here is a chart from her web site you can print out.


    http://www.starparent.com/about/print.html

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:25 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Saying no firmly, threats, sending to other rooms, and other punishments just aren't right to use with a 1 yo. You don't want a child to behave because you are big and mean and can punish. You to teach a child up. You want your child to behave because it is the right thing to do. You can have a well behaved child without resorting to negative parenting. Just like you can have a well behaved dog without punishment or treating the dog harshly. Try to avoid the situation that leads up to negative behavior. When you see it coming, change the situation, when something does happen change situation and don't lecture. Say the rule, "you may not hit." Move away so you aren't getting hit and laughing has no audience. If other people are aroung you may have to keep your child near and watch her behavior or avoid situations with other people until she stopps hitting.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:36 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • my 14 month old started that a few weeks ago..... i started getting eye level with her when she does it.... grabbing her hands.... and i say be nice and take one of her hands and rub my face .....been doing that for the last week and she hasn't hit me yet. i was told to try it back... it does no good... just made my daughter scream... and i don't do spanking so i would rather seek out something that worked then to spank her! = ]
    autumnsmommy721

    Answer by autumnsmommy721 at 5:39 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • kids hit to get attention mot of the time...bad attention is still attention to them...so tell her "no, that hurts mommy" and walk away and ignore her. You teach her that hitting you will NOT get your attention...but make sure to give her lots of hugs and cuddles and praise her when she is being nice and loving.
    hill_star03

    Answer by hill_star03 at 5:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

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