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2 Bumps

what would you do if you opened up to ur husband/bf about how ur feeling and they dont care?

i told my s/o how im feeling depressed about never getting to see him and even though i forgaven him for what he did in the past , it still comes across my mind how he got online withother girls and rather talk to them n see them instead of me. i was self coscious about myself already and then when he did that i just felt so bad about myself like its my fault for being fat (after i had our son) and ugly , and i still feel like that. i feel like im not good enough and feel like he wants to look at other girls instead of me. i dont even like looking at myself in the mirror when i come across one. and i told him how i feel in an email since we dont get to talk much and when we was on the phone today i told him i wrote him and he said i know so i was like u didnt write me back , dont u have anything to say to me? and he just said no. i felt hurt that he didnt even want to make me feel better oor say anything about it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Can I be blunt? I hope so, cause I'm gonna be. And know, before we even start, that I am NOT bashing you. I may come off as harsh, but I empathize with where you are, having been there before.
    Your problem isn't him. Your problem is you. Your body image issues and lack of self esteem have led you to a place where you will tolerate things (I'm sure) you've told friends they are crazy for dealing with. I was in the same boat. I felt so badly about myself that I let a man pick me, rather then picking the man I wanted a relationship with. I didn't think enough of myself to hold out, but rather jumped into a relationship with a man who would overlook my 'flaws'.
    NO ONE IS PERFECT. No woman should be made to feel a man is doing them a favor by overlooking what they term flaws - be it weight, attractiveness, intelligence...anything.
    Also...if he's looking into online cheating, he will cheat. May not be today or tomorrow...

    Answer by Jenny-talia at 3:43 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Men and women have differnent communication styles and needs. When women have a so or get married they can expect their partner to be their best friend and meet all their relationship needs. Men don't think this way. There are things that it would be better for women to share with their women friends because they aren't going to get what they need from a male. Many of the things you are expecting from him aren't the kind of things men understand or know how to communicate about and they can be frustrated when their woman keeps trying to talk about. It can drive them away. You need to share these kinds of things with a woman. If you don't have a woman friend, mother, or sister, then counseling may help. You may find help on some of the cm groups.


    Answer by Gailll at 3:45 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • There is a woman that is famous for her work on communication styles and this is an article by her. I hope you read it, I think it will be a big help. I had to read some of the things she has written for college counseling psychology courses.


    Answer by Gailll at 3:47 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I know how you feel trust me

    Answer by rebelchickrocks at 5:13 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

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