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Teen son told me he was gay today? Why as a mom do I feel disgusted? adult content

My son age 15 told me today he was gay, and he's been gay since age 13. How does he know? Who knows at age 13 that they're gay? I feel really shameful right now, and I'm constantly yelling at him when he ask me something. Am I wrong? Or should I feel this way? If he ask me anything, I'll yell at him all because I'm mad. I don't want him to be this way. I'm very very angry right now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (59)
  • He knows because he was born feeling that way. Instead of being angry with him about something he can't help, how about being proud that he felt close enough with you to tell you something so personal and accept him for who he is. He's still your son and you should still love him no matter what.

    IhartU

    Answer by IhartU at 5:19 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • One quit yelling at your son. Hes still the baby you held in your arms & rocked to sleep.
    Hes still the little boy you hugged & kissed & made all the booboo's go away..

    And yes they can tell at that age. It would be normal for a 13 year old to notice girls right? So why can't be notice at 13 that he's gay?

    You can't make him NOT be this way... You shouldn't be angry, you should be happy that he came to you instead of keeping it from you.

    I pity your child... I truly do. That was a big thing for him & instead of being there for him you rather yell & scream.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 5:21 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Its normal to be upset,But dont yell at him sit down and talk to him.
    tell him how you feel about it w/o beinqq mean & nasty but explain that your happy he told you & you will always love him
    by you yellinqq at him its qonna make him reqret him tellinqq you anythinq
    Lovehurts1

    Answer by Lovehurts1 at 5:21 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • He knows because that is the way he was born. You need to learn to accept him as he is and remember that no matter what he is STILL your SON! And if you continue to be angry about it - you need to go to a professional therapist and get some help. Or just not accept him as he is and he'll end up not in you life.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 5:22 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Being angry is wrong because this is something that he can not help being, he didn't choose this to piss you off, he told you because this is who he is, and as his parent thought you could support him. Regardless of how you feel about the lifestyle this is still that same little boy you gave birth to and loved, nothing should change, and being angry at him for this is, is really quite cruel. Some people know a lot younger than 13, some know before puberty hits. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed right now other than your attitude.........

    older

    Answer by older at 5:22 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • He realized at 13. He's been gay since birth. My brother just came out as bi and my mom was quite upset for a while. All I can tell you is he did not choose this. He did not choose to wait 2 years to tell you something super important. He did not hide something from you for no reason. He was scared of how you would react and sorry to say you are doing what he was scared of. He is still your son. He is the same baby you gave birth to, the same baby who you probably cried when he first walked, certainly did the first time he said mom or I love you. Remember he is your son! DO not make him loose you because he was honest with you and himself. Love him. It will be hard, it isn't the same to you. Well it is the same, and the hurt will heal. Just LOVE HIM! GL!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 5:23 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Kids who are gay know way before puberty they are gay just like a child who is straight knows they are straight. As for the way you feel no one can tell you how to feel but love your son no matter what. He is gay I bet he dosen't want to be gay just like you don't want to yell at him.
    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 5:23 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • You just found out so give yourself  time to adjust and accept this. It most have taken a lot of courage for your son to confide in you if he knew this would make you unhappy. I think it's okay to mourn the idea of what we wanted for our children, but then we have to move on and love them for who they are. Good luck to you.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:25 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • well are you angry, disappointed, or just scared..u need to ask yourself that first. your son has made a very courages decision. He told you because he trusts you, probably because u have told him that he can come to you about anything...well he did now its your turn to keep your end of the deal. He didnt tell you because he wanted to hurt you or anger you he told you because of all the people in his world you are suppose to love him unconditionally. your son is still your son.. you dont have to like his relationships but u are suppose to love your son
    hendimom3

    Answer by hendimom3 at 5:26 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Perhaps going to a support group for parents of gay kids would help you? or counseling?

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:27 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

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