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HELP! I need advice

My son just turn 4 yrs and goes to preschool, at the beginning of the year he didn't cry even though a lot of kids in his class did, now for about two weeks he cries and the thing is he cries when I drop him off, if his aunts or grandpa' drops him off he will be okay. & Requests me to stay with him. Unfortunatly I can't have them drop him off every morning. How can I get him to stay without crying? I need all the help I can get. Thanks.

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Asked by jcampos at 5:04 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sounds like he misses his Mom during the day! My son is four years old too. Try talking to him periodically throughout the day or before he goes to bed about the steps that you guys will take together in getting ready for school... getting dressed, eating breakfast, driving to school, walking down the hall... up to taking his coat off and having him find a seat. Maybe dropping him off at the classroom door instead of walking him inside might work, and you could talk to his teacher so that he or she would be there at the door to take over with getting him inside. I read this book once where the mom drew a tiny little heart on the palm of her child's hand so that any time that he missed her and felt lonely, he could look at his hand and know that she was thinking about him and loved him. I hope that it gets easier for you! Good luck! =)

    Answer by sarah_smile at 5:19 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I like the idea of the heart - I'll have to remember that one. Another idea I've seen is to ask him what he is going to play with first and talking about that on your way there. When you get there, tell him "Have fun playing with the trucks and I'll be back for you later!" and then leave quickly. When you pick him up, spend a few minutes with him in the class letting him show you what he did that day.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:56 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • It was a book about a racoon going to school for the first time. My daughters prechool teacher read that book when we went for parent orientation and she had them trace a parents hand on one piece of paper and the parent traced the childs hand beside it and the glued hearts on the palm of each hand. It is hard but they do get over it it takes time and patience. Which is easier said than done just make sure he knows you love him.

    Answer by jrsmith27 at 8:31 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I know it is hard for you, but odds are (and I have seen in it with my own children and my students) that 2 seconds after you are out of ear shot, your little guy is off and running. They are smart cookies and sometimes know who they can "bend" to get what they want. Be supportive, but firm.

    Now, that being said, also ask him if anything has changed at school - friends, routine, etc. Maybe something is making him uncomfortable, and he feels free enough to share it with you.
    Finally, partner with his teacher. Working together to aid in his transition will make it better on everybody. If you are still worried after you leave, give them a call. Would you rather fret for a couple of hours of how he is or have a 30 second conversation where they can reassure you of what he is doing?
    Just some thoughts. Good luck!

    Answer by GNMom88 at 1:03 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Thank You for all your ideas, I hadn't thought of any of the options you guys have given me. I'll start today, and see how he comes up. I'm going to try to do the heart on his hand. But yeah most of the times, after I go pick him up after-school, the teacher has mentioned that he is doing fine after I leave, and when I see him he is doing good. The only thing I forgot to mention is that he tells me everyday after school:"If you stay with me, I won't cry, if you don't that's the reason I cry". It just breaks my heart.

    Answer by jcampos at 9:44 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • I told my son that I thought it was wonderful how he was going to school, and how proud I was of all the work he did there. I told him that I waited all day to see what he would bring home from school for me to see. For my son, it made him excited that his mom thought him going to school was the greatest thing in the world. I realize though, that a lot of other kids don't fall for this. My younger two boys would hate school if I said I liked it.

    Answer by McGregor at 11:31 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

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