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is it ok to have my one month old cry

ok i eel bad when my son crys he doesnt stop until i hold him he will fall asleep but when i put him down in his bassinet he wakes up right way and starts screaming again i feel like some thing is wrong i cant leave him like that i feel if i let him cry im neglecting him but i dont know whats wrong he has dry cloths on dry diaper hes fed i try to do every thing to make him comfortable and he only stops when i hold him but i dont have time to take showers make dinner eat do any house work like is it ok to let him cry or am i a bad mom

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Asked by caspers_mommy at 5:06 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (13)
  • Have you tried swaddling him and/or using a sleep positioner.. Maybe that will give him the feeling of being held and snuggled up. Good Luck!


    Answer by MommytoGRP at 5:10 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • mine did the same thing :-) sometimes you just have to let them cry for a few minutes. i tried wearing a sling but he only likes it if daddy is wearing it lol, i dont know why. but as long as you know he is safe and not hungry, wet, in pain, etc., then it is okay to let him cry for a few minutues. just keep him close and try to comfort him the best you can while you get everything done! it eventually gets easier!!

    Answer by jessicarae787 at 5:11 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • yeah i have tried swaddling him some time it works some times it doesn't

    Answer by caspers_mommy at 5:19 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • babies are smart...they know if they cry they will get what they want. Start now teaching him crying isnt the way to get what he wants...let him cry it out. trust me you can either do it now or wait till he's 5 and screaming from his room at nite cause he wont go to bed..or in the store flipping out cause he cant get what he wants and embarresing you

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • please please please I am begging you DO NOT LET YOUR 1 MONTH OLD CRY IT OUT!!!

    It is ridiculous to think that an innocent one month old is plotting to get it's way by screaming. They don't even understand that concept yet. All they know is that something is wrong and they have no way of letting anyone know except by crying!

    In the first few months of life your baby is trying to figure out who to trust. It has been proven in research that parents who tend to there infant quickly will have a baby that will cry less in the later months.

    If you have to leave the room for a moment to clear your head then do that. But don't just leave them there by themselves to scream until they can't scream anymore.

    It's just not fair!!!

    Answer by kristine1218 at 6:01 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • yeah well i never just let him cry for a long time just quickly as i go to the bathroom or but the cloths in the dryer i do hold him alot if i need to do other things like dinner or shower or even sleep his father helps out alot i do feel like its neglect but i wasnt shure if i was over reacting

    Answer by caspers_mommy at 6:38 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • OK, I have a question. Does he spit up alot? The bigger of my twins was the same way. He cried every time I put him down. It started at birth, and I did not find out why for nearly 5 months. As it turned out, he has acid reflux. When he was being held he was propped up, but laying in the crib fe was laying flat. Have you ever had really bad heart burn that seems to ease up if you are propped up against pillows? Same thing. Laying flat caused him severe pain. It was not just that he wanted to be held, it was that he was hurting. We switched formulas and started him on medication and he does fine now.

    Answer by Sissy_Girl at 7:53 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I would not let her cry it out because of previous stated reasons. Have you tried the sling or a Moby wrap to wear you baby? Babies, especailly newborns, are use to the closeness of the womb and require a lot of human interacation and touch.

    Answer by Natsnumberthree at 8:00 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • yeah maybe it might be the acid reflucs that runs in my family thank u every one for the advise i will have to try some of these ideas out

    Answer by caspers_mommy at 8:08 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I agree not a bad mom at all!!! I was just upset cus one person said you gotta make the baby learn at some age so she should just let the baby cry it out. I was just wanting her to not take that advice as the baby is to young to CIO.

    As far as if you need to go potty or do something where you can't hold him then of course you have to put him down. Just put him somewhere near you and talk softly to him so he knows your still there and that everything is okay.

    I am sure you are doing a fine job. You don't sound like a mom who is neglecting your child. Babies cry that just what they do . Just use your best judgment and you will be fine.

    Answer by kristine1218 at 3:08 PM on Oct. 22, 2008

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