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Thoughts on women who hyphenate their last names?

I belong to a Christian homeschool pen-pal group. Recently I was contacted by a member interested in a pen-pal. I responded and in my siggie line is my full name with my last name hyphenated. I then received an email about how wrong it is to have a hyphenated last name, that it is unpleasing to a man for a woman not to take his name and it prevents us from becoming one. She criticized me and condemned me.

I don't recall seeing anywhere that a woman must ONLY use her husband's last name when marrying.

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Asked by tinkerbell76 at 6:02 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (16)
  • i wouldnt say anything rude about it but me personally i dont belive in it i belvie that when you get married you take your husbands name but i would never be rude to someone that does it the other way its what they want

    Answer by iloveyall2008 at 6:07 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I dropped my middle name and I hyphenate my last name and his name. He wanted me to take just his last name and I wanted to keep my last name so I compromised. I can go by either name if I wanted to. My son is from a previous relationship and has my last name so I also wanted to keep my name for that reason so he wouldn't be the only one with that last name. Why do I have to lose my indentity?

    Answer by dddd2776 at 6:15 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I also believe you should take your husbands last name. That's just part of making your lives one. I was proud to take my husband's last name and let everyone know I was his wife.

    Answer by RenaeMom3277 at 6:18 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • In defense.. Some women have started medical school not being married, they receive all this education, licenses, etc.. Who wants to change all that? It's easier just to hyphenate your last name when you get married... Same concept when you have children and remarry... sometimes it's just easier..

    Answer by pupmom at 6:23 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I do have my husband's last name it is merely hyphanted with my last name. It doesn't make his name any less by adding it to mine.



    Answer by tinkerbell76 at 6:26 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I don't understand why anyone would criticize you for your name choice, it's  a cultural thing, not a religious thing, different depending on where you go.

    In France since the 1789 Revolution, the law stipulates that "no one may use another name than that given on their birth certificate"[9] ; furthermore, the 1946 revision to the Constitution guarantees that "women and men have equal rights", including in the use of their birth name. Upon getting married, a woman keeps her maiden name (nom de jeune fille

    In Spain and in most Spanish-speaking countries, the practice is for people to have two surnames, a paternal and a maternal surname (their father's surname followed by their mother's surname). For example, Spanish director Pedro Almodóvar's full name is "Pedro Almodóvar Caballero", Almodóvar being his father's surname and Caballero being his mother's surname.


    Answer by craftyleah at 6:42 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I don't understand why there's an issue with the last name being hyphenated. I think it's sad when people are attacked or told they're wrong over things that the bible nor God does not consider wrong.

    Answer by bonn777 at 6:51 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • ugh that was so rude and un christlike of your pen pal. She does not know your circumstances nor your heart and apparently doesnt know Gods either. I know my husband would be devastated if i didnt take his last name and his alone but not everyone is that way and you DID take his last name. Perhaps you are rpoud of yoru heritage and there is no reason why you cant keep it. I had a doc who had a hyphenated last name because a change that big would screw everything up with old patients new ones and so on, I would just not write back to that pen pal.

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 8:16 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Sorry your pen pal was so rude.
    For the record, to each his-her (lol) own.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • tinkerbell76 the way I see it, my father was teh one who worked hard to raise me, and therefore he desrves that I carry his last name. my husband is working hard to raise his(our) children and they have his last name. I don't see any men changing their last name so why do I have to? why is his name more important? I have 4 sister and none of us have changed our last name. as a matter of fact I can't think of one woman in my family (except for my mom) who has changed her last name. I hyphanted as well. I would never get rid of my father's last name.

    Answer by ny.chica at 2:11 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

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