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2 Bumps

A question for Christians, not because I don't want to talk to the others, I just think only Christians will understand.

Please no bashing.
I went to church this morning and all I can say is that the sermon convicted me. I've done nothing but think about it all day. But I can't figure it out. The sermon was about turning things over to God, not just your life, the little things. All your worries and fears, the problems, and where you are going. But I'm having trouble with it. 4 and a half years ago I turned my life over to God and wound up married to a gay, abusive, angry man who tried to kill me. I met him in church, we barely even kissed before we got married, did everything as right as we could possibly do it. I prayed and prayed about our marriage that it was what God wanted me to do. I truly believed it was, but I got hurt so badly. Now its hard for me to turn it all over to God. Things in my life are awful, I'm not able to work because of all my ex did. I have a wonderful bf who I love dearly but I'm not sure he loves me back.

Answer Question

Asked by TessaHoney at 8:42 PM on Sep. 26, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 9 (348 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I have no money, I barely have a home. I live off my ex (yeah he does that for me), but I have no freedom. I'm not me anymore. My ex took all that away from me. Now I keep thinking of that sermon, and wondering how do you turn it all over to God when you've done it once before and so many bad things happened? Even my Pastor (the one who preached at the church where my ex and I met) can't explain why all those bad things happened, or how we could all be so fooled by my ex.

    Comment by TessaHoney (original poster) at 8:47 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did. I wish some one had all the answers so that everything made so much sense to you now,. but we know it just doesn't work out that way. I look at it kind've like my marriage. My husband cheated on me,. but I felt compelled by God to stay and work things out with him,. how could I trust him again though after he had trashed my trust so completely already?? I asked myself and God that often. And God gave me the answer, if I was going to make an effort to repair the marriage,. the only way to do it successfully on my part,. was to give in completely, place my trust in God,.that no matter how things turned out this go round,. I'd be cradled in God's arms the whole way thru. As you know,. allowing distrust to permeate the marriage,. even with good cause,. will doom the marriage on its own. I hope that helped a little - feel free to pm me.

    Answer by tharealty2 at 8:54 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • When you turn things over to God, he expect you to work with him. God helps those who help themselves. If you are going to believe that God will abandon you for doing some things that people say he frown on, than you aren't trusting him to look at you as his child with you needs and understanding. God is always not sometimes no matter what. Don't stop looking to him moreover, start trusting your own original instincts before you get so hurt.

    Answer by peacockmom at 8:56 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • here's the thing: you may have turned it all over to God, but that doesn' t mean anyone else in your life will or did. when you decide to do something for you, only you can keep that 'promise' or desire. you can't control what anyone else does. i'm sorry your marriage turned out bad..but it doesn't mean its your fault or God's. your ex had choices he had to make, and he made them. every action causes a reaction, and your reaction to something bad or negative is where 'turning it over to a higher power' can help you, as long as you realize you are still in the game, too. you still have footwork to do, decisions to make, and a brain to use.

    sorry, i'm rambling..hopefully someone else can make sense of my mess.

    Answer by dullscissors at 8:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I'm not entirely sure what you mean actually. I get that you're saying I should put all my trust in God. But I'm really not looking to fix my marriage, its been over for years. Now I'm trying to work on my life. Not sure if that was your point or not.

    Comment by TessaHoney (original poster) at 8:57 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I am a christian but i honestly dont know how to answer your question. No one will understand why God does the things he does but i will pray for you :)

    Answer by AWebber212 at 8:59 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I'll try to make sense of things. We are supposed to rely upon our creator. Bad things will and do happen in a world gone mad. And indeed this world is mad. Mostly people aren't going to lie. But since at times people do sugarcoat their selves to see it through your eyes, like your b/f did or is doing, it is tainting your perception of life overall. You aren't what he says, or what he makes you, or what anyone suggests. Only you are responsible to you. I don't want to come off as crass or straight-nosed, but can you take the even keel in your life, and leave these petty demolishing men out of your life, he pays your rent, or whatever, can't this be altered...."?:"" Work is easy when you decide you don't have anyone but you to take charge of, listen to your good right mind. Do the things that you know work as independent ways not with people who get you trapped, sorry, but I am with you --these people are trapping you

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • You have to make your own way out of that trap. Do it. The way out is as simple as one day go apply to a place, wait a week or 2 go apply and keep doing that until you get a call, either go straight back to that one place and keep applying , getting a final interview, and / or go to others. But pick something you enjoy, or have a passion to be at. No body is going to keep anyone over you since you believe that God is love. Do you? (because he is) Now put that fear away.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • God is ALWAYS there to comfort you and to love you, but He cannot control your decisions and make your life problem free. I trust God and turn everything over to Him because I know He is with me and loving me through my life... I don't expect Him to make my life here on earth like Heaven.. because He won't. Bad things happen all the time.. they even happened to Jesus... This is not Heaven.. this is Earth.. God wants to be our closest friend, but He is not going to make perfection---there's a big difference... I was abused in my life several times by different folks, but I don't even come close to blaming God or thinking that He wasn't with me when that happened.. He's always been there by my side... Life sucks.. it always will... We trust in God and love Him so that we can spend eternity with Him in Heaven... not so we can have a grand life on earth.. does that make sense?

    Answer by momofonelilguy at 9:14 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • You haven't forgiven yet. You need to forgive your ex and I'm guessing forgive your self too. It's not an overnight thing and you need to not only understand that but be okay with it. Do a daily bible study, with someone, a group or alone. That will strengthen your faith. There is a great book called FAITH PRINTS and another called the POSTIVE BIBLE. The 1st is a devotional book and the 2nd is scripture that is all positive. And call your pastor, they listen as much as they talk. : )

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 9:24 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

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