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2 Bumps

Not sure how to deal with the Bf's ex....

Ok so I am new here, but it seems like you all have alot of insight on the ex & step parenting stuff so here goes. I have been with my BF for a year. We are both divorced. The ex cheated on him and left, leaving him to raise his 2 children (boy and girl 12 and 16 respectively)
I came into the picture and together we have been raising his children. The ex blows in and out of their lives....(she now lives 5+ hours away). Recently, my bf's dad passed away after a long battle with cancer. She came to the funeral, and acted like she belonged at his side, and not me. She tried everything in her power to make me feel like garbage, and I did not let her. But I did blow up on him (which I apologized for). She does things like this all the time, but this time really had an effect on me. What should I do?? I'm not going anywhere, and we will be getting engaged, so how do I not let this happen again?

Answer Question
 
ange12380

Asked by ange12380 at 10:45 PM on Sep. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • He needs to have a talk with her and put her in her place. Being the mother of his kids doesn't mean she can do this.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 10:48 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • You have to talk to him to tell him that he has to set bounderies!! He shouldnt be allowing that at all.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 10:49 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • Ignore her, support him, be a strong confident woman and he will have to deal with her. She sounds like a nut case and I'm sure he doesn't want to be hurt again let alone his kids. Talk to him, tell him you love him and want to know what the plan is. Work with him on it. Hopefully it will work out for the best. Good Luck!
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 10:52 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • I thought so too! I mean about the boundaries thing...that's her problem, she doesn't know her place! I couldn't even fit all of the things she said and did to me that whole weekend, and I felt really bad for blowing up on him, but I couldn't deal with it anymore! And I didn't want to go at her, because that's what she wanted!! ugggghhh........
    ange12380

    Comment by ange12380 (original poster) at 10:53 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • you just cant let her get to you, thats what she wants.
    dont lower yourself to her level.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:55 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • @lifes-a-dance, thanks, and you're right, its just hard because she has no kind of sense....I just want to be happy with him and the kids, and I am fully aware i am not their mom, but I am here 24/7 taking care of them alongside him, I should have the respect for that!!!
    ange12380

    Comment by ange12380 (original poster) at 10:55 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • you need to tell him to have a serious talk with her
    mscmariee

    Answer by mscmariee at 11:11 PM on Sep. 26, 2010

  • You should definitely be thankful that she lives 5 hours away. At least you don't have to see her often. But you BF, fiance should be the one to tell her to keep her mouth shut. Being at a funeral at the same time and her running her mouth didn't help anyone in any way. Since she is the kids mother, you can't say much, but she should have been more respectful than she was.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:10 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My dh's ex is a bitch, plain & simple. She thinks she owns it, even though we both know better. It's hard but let her be the control freak/victim with the golden uterus. The truth always shows itself and tge cream always rises to the top. Easier said than done, trust me, I know!
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 4:37 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • As they always say, once a cheater always a cheater. You sometimes need to practice the golden rule. I try my best to live by it. Do unto others, as you would have them to unto you. We all just need to try and get along. Have a great day. :)
    marydu76

    Answer by marydu76 at 5:34 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

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