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Am I a terrible mother?

My son is 4 months old, and I work full-time [usually like 45 hours/week] to keep up with the rent and the bills. My boyfriend also works 44 hours a week and we are just getting by. We make too much money for foodstamps or TANF but have NO leftover money for anything and I only see my son for TWO HOURS a day!!! We get up @ 9 and I have to drop him off at daycare by 11:30 and I don't get home from work until 11 and he's asleep by then, and we do it all over again. I feel like such a terrible mother and I wonder what he's thinking when I'm never there...I guess this is just more of a vent than a question, but what to you think about my situation?

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AidensMommy608

Asked by AidensMommy608 at 7:45 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Money & Work

Level 6 (140 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I think you are like every other middle class family in america. This is the way life is now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Working does not make you a bad mother. You're doing what you have to do to help support your family! He will be fine. Take advantage of every single minute that you are with him...he'll understand one day.
    KennsWifey

    Answer by KennsWifey at 7:47 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • You are so NOT a bad mother! Times are tough for everyone and your son will understand. I know, it is hard to be away from your babies. I used to have to put them in daycare and it broke my heart. The best thing you can do is just cherish every moment you have with him, and if you are really not happy with your situation look for something else. I know, easier said then done, but if you are not happy with your life you DO have the power to change it....even if you don't know how to yet...things will get better. Keep your chin up and cherish your son, he will know you love him:)
    sassyhettel

    Answer by sassyhettel at 8:09 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • You are not a bad mother, but maybe you or your BF need to look for different jobs, or get higher education. It seems like the two of you work a lot, but don't make a lot. I know what it's like to not be able to see the little on a lot, but I've been in school working towards degrees. I would never want to work that much with an infant.
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 8:42 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • No... normal family. I know it feels like this and it is hard to do, but unfortunately, it is the way the system works. What you are doing is honorable...
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 8:50 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • You are NOT a bad mother NO, NO!!!!!!! You are a hard working mother that is trying to do her best to provide a good life for you kid and for that i give you the thumbs up. Don't feel bad for doing the best for your family, i will just advice that when you spend a day with your son make it really enjoyable for you, your husband and him. I wish you the best and i hope my answer makes you think different of yourself. God Bless You!!!!!!!!
    jp2101

    Answer by jp2101 at 8:51 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • You are not a terrible mother! You are doing the best you can for your son. Maybe he could get up earlier and go to bed earlier so you could see him more? Enjoy every minute you have with him. Nobody ever WANTS to work that much with an infant, but sometimes you have to. Your son will know you love him if you make him the center of your world. You can do that even if you work; you just might have to get creative. Hang in there, mama!
    rwwmom

    Answer by rwwmom at 8:51 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • wow, 2 hours to bond with your child in my eyes isn't good. All you child knows right now is your mothering. Doesn't know about money issues. Being there it's what's important.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Yes, you two could spend a lot of time bonding in the homeless shelter. Sure, right now he knows your mothering and has no concept of money. But I'm sure he knows a warm place to sleep at night and a full belly and the comfort of clothes. Do not let posters like Anon at 9:15PM make you feel guilty. Bond with your baby when you can-time off, weekends, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • i would seriously look for another job. if you are working that many hours as well as your BF and hardly making ends meet, then your job isn't worth the time your losing with your baby. you could make more money just wastressing in half of the time than your job. two hours isn't very much time at all, but you are not a BAD MOTHER AT ALL! dont think that, i would just HIGHLY sujest you look for something else that is a job maybe from 8am - 5pm... to me your job isn't worth the time your losing with your baby..

    Best of luck to ya girl!!
    PS.. you are NOT a bad mother, just a HARD working one. which is better than a lot of other mommies.
    stephany21

    Answer by stephany21 at 9:27 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

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