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help with ex parnet

my son has custody of his 10 year old daughter, he walks on egg shells ever since he has had custody, his ex if she doesn't get her way she takes it out on the child. example, if the child does feel safe or comfortable at her mom's house she knows to call us and we will come get her, but her mom tells her if she ever calls us she will never come over again, (in a not so nice voice)

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jessy9955

Asked by jessy9955 at 12:08 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (87 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • sounds like he needs to contact a lawyer.. and sounds to me that she needs to lose visitation..
    proudmommy690

    Answer by proudmommy690 at 12:31 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • sounds like your son need to go back to court with the child and have the child tell the judge about the mothers behavior and some kind of supervised visits need to be made till the mother has completed therapy and parenting classes.........
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:01 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • your son needs to get full custody. Take her back to court. this mom sounds like a not so good parent and she uses the child which is not right. Your son should put his foot down and fight for his daughters soul custody. GL :)
    newmommyjazz

    Answer by newmommyjazz at 9:26 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • i agree with cara..eventually it will break the granddaughter down..emotionally an m/b even mentally..i watch my sis do it with her dd since birth..now my niece is 13 an a total wreck cause of her mom
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 12:10 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • My poor sd11 is so nervous and she gets it from her mom the control freak harping on her constantly. Just mention her mom coming to get her and she starts pacing and looks like she's going to be sick. It's not good for kids to be tortured emotionally like this but we try to be neutral in our home. She will figure it all out in her own time.
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 3:53 AM on Sep. 29, 2010

  • It sounds like your poor granddaughter still wants to see her mom thus being scared that she won't get to come over again? I think I read that right... anyway, I'd try to make as little of a deal as possible about that, really. She may be picking up on your fears too and applying them to her mother. You don't want to give her the idea that this is scary just because it's a bad situation between daddy and and mom. I WOULD speak to a lawyer but more importantly, she needs to see a counselor so that she can more easily set safe boundaries with her mom. Remember, she's really close to the age where a judge can decide to allow her not to see her mom anymore if she doesn't feel safe. You hate for things to get to that though. I firmly believe that kids need BOTH parents if at all possible. Good luck:-)
    shellakers

    Answer by shellakers at 12:41 AM on Oct. 3, 2010

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