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How can I just "let go" of the kids as they are growing up into young adults?

My kids are now in their later teens, and my son is in college. I am starting to feel the empty nest thing. I am concerned because I've been told I need to let go and let them make their own mistakes, but yet they make soooo many mistakes, it's impossible to let go because I always have to help them out of their problems.

Answer Question

Asked by Angelwolf130 at 1:47 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 6 (148 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • But you don't always have to help them out of their problems. Especially your son in college. Those children that are still in High school and still under 18, you give them a hand, but don't solve the problem for them.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:02 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • That's part of them growing up. Letting them make their own mistakes. How we grow, change, learn, and experience life in many ways is by making mistakes, learning how to correct those mistakes (when possible), and learning from those mistakes and moving on with our lives.

    As hard as it is. We have to let our kids, especially those that are grown, do just that. Learn and grow. It's not it easy sitting back and watching your child do something that you just know is a mistake, or just isn't going to turn out well.. But, if we want our children to grow up, be responsible, know how to live and handle themselves in this world, and how to make the best of this world. Then we have to let go and let them find their own way in this word.

    We can give advice, we can give suggestions (etc) ,but ultimately the choices they make are theirs, and the reprecussions are theirs. Just like our's are our's in this world.

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:09 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Its hard letting go of a child that you nurtured, protected and loved for 18 + do you let them grow up? Some say to cut the apron strings and some say hold on to them for as long as they allow but we all know that sooner or later, we must let go of our children but the key here is to let go of them with love...We can give you all types of ways to cope and deal with your child BUT we only know the half of the story...I read a great book, "Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationship with Your Adult Children" by Ruth Nemzoff. This book along with another book, "can't recall the title right now", helped me understand the emotions I went through as I let go of my boy's one by one...hope this helps...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:55 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Thanks mom 2mybabes. I'll try to find the book next time I go to borders for "me" time. You say you already let go of your sons, one by one. I hope you continue to have a good relationship with all of them.

    Comment by Angelwolf130 (original poster) at 12:50 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • If they are making a lot of mistakes & getting into trouble then talk to them and ask them why they are doing it! Maybe it's just a phase.

    Answer by NicolesMommy at 2:14 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Mom, the only way to let go is to have faith that all you have taught them will stick on, everyone needs to make mistakes to learn from, just stick around close enough to help when needed. Hugs!

    Answer by older at 7:32 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I feel your pain. It is the hardest thing to let them go. But those mommy birdies do it. Every day I see birds flying around, so I guess it works. Have faith. Don't jump in immediately to fix their problems, let them try on their own. If they need help, you are always there.

    Answer by Heartmusic at 11:53 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • Then you aren't really letting go!

    Answer by mp3mom at 12:44 AM on Sep. 30, 2010

  • My mamma always says that you will never quit worrying about your kids. You could take some classes or something to take up some of your time and give your mind something elese to think about. They are going to have to figure things out on their own. One more thing mamma says is that if you do your job as a parent right, you do yourself out of a job.You can always let them knopw that you will be there for them if they need your help.

    Answer by A.Perry at 5:36 PM on Oct. 1, 2010

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