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3 Bumps

How do i deal with my friends who are not there for me because i am pregnant and they are not?

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Dinergirl77

Asked by Dinergirl77 at 7:20 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • find new friends.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 7:25 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • aw, that's terrible. then i would have to say that they are not real friends and you can point it ou to them and communicate that yeah you may be overly sensitive right now but regardless they are hurting your feelings. but if they don't get it after that/ yeah i'd find new friends
    pmg1030

    Answer by pmg1030 at 7:29 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I have to go with pmg1030 here. you might just be being very overly sensative right now due to your hormones. are these friends who have suffered a miscarriage ? because that has to be taken in to account. they might be having a very hard time dealing with thier loss and your happiness and growing belly. OR they might be total immature jerks who dont want to be reminded about responsability . you didnt realy give us enough info
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 7:33 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • True blacksheep i didnt give enough details. One friend of mine who is suppose to be my closest friend of all did go through a divorce and she did express that its too hard for her right now to be around me but i was there for when she went through a divorce and i think that even though it might be hard for her she is still being a little selfish. A true friend wouldnt be there?
    Dinergirl77

    Comment by Dinergirl77 (original poster) at 7:39 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • OK op but she was honest with you about how hard things are for her right now. and likely your joy and pregnancy is just a bit much right now. our friendships in life shouldnt come with strings. ok you were there for her during her divorce, why are placing strings on that? that she is somehow failing HER end of things? sounds to me like its not been enough time yet. and she might be being a tad selfish. but she isnt the only one here is she?
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 7:44 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Your right. I guess i just miss our closeness and it makes me sad to think because i am pregnant and she wants to be marriend and with kids now too that i feel helpless to the fact i cant do anything to help her and so in a sense i try to channel my feelings to anger. Thanks for the insight. I guess i just have to accept it. But is seems that i wont get my friend back till she meets a man, gets married and has children.
    Dinergirl77

    Comment by Dinergirl77 (original poster) at 7:51 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • to add a thought to blacksheep..this is life, OP. as hard as it sounds, people are not always going to reciprocate your actions, or at least not when you think they should. everyone has their own life, and yes, i'm sure your friends are happy for you, but your pregnancy does not make everyone else's world stop. realizing this is a very big step into maturity. (i'm not saying you're immature.) while you are living your life, life is happening for everyone around you, too. sometimes your friends will be able to be right there on your doorstep; sometimes they won't be there. you can't quarantee you'll always be there for them. you want to, but you can't.
    that's just life. it doesn't mean they are any less your friend. accept that when the shit hits the fan, a friend is there..but when its just a little gas, they still have their own life. KWIM?
    GL with the pregnancy.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:52 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • There is no reason for your friend to abandon you because of her recent divorce. I don't think she's a very good friend to you at all, I think it's time to find new friends, ones that aren't as selfish.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:57 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • i understand what your saying dullscissors and by no means i expect my pregnancy to stop anyone's world. i was just expressing how its a little sad that my closest friend who i have been friends with for over 10 years is not apart of it. i think i have a right to be a little sad about it with out being harshly judged (not that you were) i appreciate honesty
    Dinergirl77

    Comment by Dinergirl77 (original poster) at 8:01 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Find new friends! I know it's hard I found my best friend online :) I'm in FL..where r u?

    Personal Photographer for all your needs
    www.creativetampabay.zenfolio.com
    KPentonPhotos

    Answer by KPentonPhotos at 8:06 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

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