Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Is it wrong or rude to tell SIL we can't afford my son to be in the wedding?

Me and SIL had a falling out a few years ago. Slowly we've been getting closer, and that's why I'm reluctant to tell her that we can't afford the tux she wants for our son. It's a $150 to RENT! We get a big $10 back. Our kids have been in other weddings and it was $50 -$60 to rent a tux- that's what we were expecting this time. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but we have two other boys, myself and my DH to buy clothes for. She's having a semi formal wedding and we don't already own those type of clothes. I hate that she waited until a month before the wedding to decide on the tuxes. Had we known the price a little earlier, we could have budgeted for it, but she just now told us. Would it be wrong to tell her he can't be in the wedding unless she picks some thing we can afford?

 
Mrs.B3

Asked by Mrs.B3 at 8:30 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 16 (3,196 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • no not rude but just be honest with her. Tell her you wanted so much for your boy to be in her wedding but all you could have afforded was 50.00 for the tux rental she may put up the rest of the cash or get him a different tux. but be honest with her and make sure she knows how hard this is for you to tell her and how much you were looking forward to him being part of her special day G/L

    justgrape723

    Answer by justgrape723 at 9:36 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • i don't think anything would be wrong with telling her. If you are worried that it may cause problems between you and her again, then have your DH tell her
    motherof4and2

    Answer by motherof4and2 at 8:33 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • It might be good to have DH also sit down with you to explain the money situation. And since you also have others to spend money on clothes for she should really understand $150 for one person is a little too much for you this close to the wedding.
    1boyand4girls

    Answer by 1boyand4girls at 8:37 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • No it's not rude but i would tell her asap. She maybe able to work with you all. Forget about this fallin out you all had a while back, put this in the past where it happened and move on in your relationship of SIL's. Maybe you can find a cheaper rental and let her know that you did find a cheaper price for your LO.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 8:35 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I would nicely explain that you are honored that she wants your child in the wedding, but with other kids & you & hubby to buy clothes for plus normal bills, you can't afford to rent the tux. ask her if you & her can shop around together for a different one.
    lilmoosesmom

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 9:02 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • We can only do so much. Speak up soon and let her know it is too much. That she has more options. Tell her that is just more than you can do right now. Any reasonable person would understand this.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 9:12 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I think you should sit down and talk to her. Tell her what you told us. I agree, $150 for a tux for a child is a bit much.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 8:54 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • You need to tell her the truth and do it quickly, so she can revise her plans. As long as you are honest and forthright about the problem, she shouldn't be offended. (If she is, you've done your part.)
    mikesmom65270

    Answer by mikesmom65270 at 9:19 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • no, not rude. she's likely to go bridezilla on you, so you can be prepared for that.

    (since when is 'semi-formal' a tux-worn occasion? i thought jacket/tie was semi-formal....?_
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:14 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Is she your DH's sister? Or yoru brothers soon to be wife? If it's your DH's sister, have your DH tell her. If it's your brothers soon to be wife, then tell your brother. If you don't have the money, you don't have the money. Just let her know somehow that you just can't afford it. She'll most likely pay for it herself, or maybe the grandparents can pay? But, you need to tell her. If she gets mad, just let her.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:13 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN