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4 Bumps

Does your husband refer to the hosehold money as HIS or OURS????

When my husband is in a good mood he will refer to the money as ours and when he is in a bad mood, he will refer the money as his. (he is bi polar) This drive me nuts, because I also work and pay bills also. We have separate checking accounts and one joint account. Just last night, he said he is broke because of me. I did not understand that comment. He gets mad when bills come in the mail and recently had a pay cut. But thats not my fault. I thought we were a team I always tell him, and he laughs and says at the expense of him. I'm trying so hard, why does he say cruel things always..... :(

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • technically, two people will generate more bills than one..but that's no excuse for his negativity.
    my dh calls all money 'ours', even though he's the only one working. (HIS IDEA, NOT MINE! LOL!)

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:07 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • bi-polars have a major tendency to cut to the bone with words when they are mad or unhappy. its not right, its cruel, but they tend to almost all be that way. Have you sat him down when he ISNT in a bad mood and let him know that when he chooses to say cruel things to you, they really and honestly hurt you to your core? I have to admit that i have done this very thing to my husband. I am bi-polar and there have been some arguements or times i was upset where i did the same thing your husband has done to you about the family finances. because currently I am the only one bringing in actual money. but without hubby's support and partnership i would not be able to do it. its as much his as mine and its OURS in our marriage.i have had to really look inside myself and deal with small resentments and realize that cutting him down that way is cruel.

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 9:08 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My fiance says it's our money, no matter if I'm working or not. Money that either of us make is OUR money that supports the family so we've never labeled his or mine.

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:09 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Wow I would be extremely offended. Dh refers to household money as "ours".

    Answer by Namaste17 at 9:10 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My hubby and I both work I make more then him but all money that comes in his pocket and mine is ours if he needs some money then i will give him it and if i do then he will give me it. We don't fight over what is what and who's is who's. It's all OURS............................

    Answer by raemommy at 9:10 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I refer to the money as my husband's because it irritates him. He always says it is ours.

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:11 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • It's always "ours" - both when I worked and now that I'm a SAHM. We share everything, he considers every dollar he earns as "our" money, and we have equal say in how it's spent.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:13 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My husband always refers to the money as Ours, I am a stay at home mom now but even when I was working the money was still ours. i had an ex bf that was bipolar and anytime he was upset he took it out on the people that he cared about most, me and his mom. He would say the meanest things to us just because he was unhappy or angry.

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 9:14 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • He refers to it as our money, since we both work.

    Answer by mikesmom65270 at 9:16 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My husband thinks its all his. until we have a little chat and straighten that crap out quick!

    Answer by Marinemom03 at 9:17 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

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