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Spin off of my other question about kids being in bars with their parents

Kids meaning birth to 18 by the way. Do you feel that having a kid with you in a bar is the same as you being at home drinking with the kids there?
Why is it ok for you to be able to buy your kid a beer in a bar,but you get into trouble if you buy beer for your kid at home?
The concensus between my FB friends is that its no big deal if you get your kid a drink or two as long as you're right there.
I believe the age 21 to drink law should mean ZERO alcohol til you're 21. No matter who's buying it.
They figure restaurants sell beer so its the same thing. NO ITS NOT-IMO


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 10:28 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • I don't have teens yet. But I can tell you my parent's allowed me to drink with them. Anything from beer to mixed drinks. Their logic, it wouldn't be this forbidden thing I would over indulge in if they let me drink. As a teen I STILL drank way too much and I drove that way! I think a zero tolerance policy is they way to go. This is just my take from my experience. As for smoking, I would not allow it, my parents forbid it, I still experimented with it but it didn't stick. Now as an adult I don't drink either.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:15 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • We are planning to do the "European" drinking thing with our kids, meaning we are going to let them drink at home with us (glass of wine/beer with dinner) when they are 15ish. Our reason being that we don't want to make alcohol this point of rebellion, we want them to learn how to drink it and we want them to be open with us when they are planning to be around it. I think the drinking age makes alcohol too glamorous for kids.

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 10:33 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I am sticking with my original answers. I would abide by the laws.... however, it has been proven that in Europe there is less alcohol abuse and there is no drinking age, kids can go into the pub with their parents, they can go with their friends and they can drink.


    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 10:33 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I think making beer out to be this "adult" thing will only cause problems in the future. Being able to drink a little here and there allows a teenager (ages 17-20 I would say) to do some supervised exploration. I'm not saying allow them to drink more then one, but acting like alcohol is so bad is not necessarily the route to go either. With that said I wouldn't feel comfortable ordering alcohol for someone underage at a restaurant. At home with family is a little different.

    I've seen it time and time again with parent's treating alcohol as this forbidden thing AND then their kids are the first ones caught underage drunk somewhere.

    Answer by kaylan010 at 10:35 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My sister and I used to go to bars with my mom all the time when I was a kid. She would get us a coke or a sprite and something to eat, and no one thought anything of two young girls being in there. It's not like we were chugging down pitchers of beer.

    As for my own kids...well, I don't drink alcohol, so that won't be an issue.

    Answer by makelineerror at 10:54 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • In most, if not all, states it is legal for a parent to give their child alcohol in their own home. You can't buy or give alcohol to other people's children, but you can't get in trouble for giving it to your's either. Within reason. You can't go letting your kid get wrecked all the time or you can be charged. A glass of wine with dinner, or a beer here and there is perfectly legal.

    Would I allow it? Don't know yet. I'm waiting until my kiddos hit an age where it's a issue. Then I will evalute their maturity level and understanding of alcohol and it's consequences, and make my decision based on that.

    Answer by desert_diva at 10:59 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • okay again a man/woman can jin the army and fight for you, but they cant enjoy a beer till 21? I mean really? My husband has been in the army since 17! How can you say they are responsible enough to carry an M-16, but not enough to drink a 6 pack? GRRR

    Answer by JoLee12345 at 12:58 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • This is why we want them to drink at home with us, so that they know what their tolerance is. That way when they are off with friends they know how to handle it. We can't be with them 100% of the time, but we can equip them with as much knowledge as we can so that they can handle situations themselves. We are not asking them to drink, we are simply saying drinking is not the huge deal people make it out to be as long as you're smart about it. Kids who aren't taught to drink correctly are the ones who end up binge drinking. As for drinking and driving, that's an entirely different matter and will be taught as such. Although we aren't too worried because here in Manhattan the driving age is 18 and no one really drives anyways.

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 10:52 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My teens can have wine with dinner on Sundays. My 15 yr old decided she wanted to know what a beer tasted like so we gave her one...she didnt like 18 yr old has tried drinking and doesnt even have the wine on Sundays because she doesn't like alcohol at all. We do not just "give" alcohol to our children however we have introduced it to them in the proper setting with proper supervision. We talk to them about drinking limits, teen drinking, friends drinking, etc...and even to this day I have yet to receive that dreadful "your kid was caught drinking" call. They know we will not condone them if they do it out of our sight however they also know we will not tolerate hiding it from us either so we decided long ago to be open to the future possibility that one of our teens will (if not all three of them) get offered alcohol from a friend. We gave them the tools on how to handle the situation and now we hope it they use them.

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 1:19 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I had my first alcholoic beverage at Christmas with my whole family when I was 21. My cousin (20 years older than me) mademe a whiskey sour cocktail and said it would be better for me to see how a drink would affect me at home rather than out with frineds somewhere. I thought that was a good idea. But none of us would be hanging out at bars with Mommy and Daddy.TACKY.
    I can see how theywill allow a teen to have a glass of wine with dinner when dining out with the family in Europeans countries....we lived in Germany for 6 years and saw it...... But---hanging out at bars anywhere with parents is just low. Not a good thing. I don't think parents will turn their kids into future alcoholics by forbidding them to drink. That's just silly.

    Answer by gertie41 at 10:42 AM on Sep. 27, 2010