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Do mothers who smoke while pregnant and after acutally think they are good parents?

I don't understand how someone can have a filthy life-threatening habit let alone force that habit on a fetus or a child. How can you love someone if you can't even repsect and love yourself enough to stop smoking? How can you say you care about your child and yet expose them to something dangerous like smoking which you KNOW causes breathing problems and even death? Is it that important to you? Are you that damn selfish? And don't go telling me that 'I've tried and I just can't quit! It's too hard!'. I've known people who have smoked for 30 years or more and have quit cold turkey- so stop making dumb-ass excuses, stop being so selfish, grow the hell up and be the mother you're supposed to be- for the sake of your innocent children!

 
IhartU

Asked by IhartU at 11:03 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 27 (31,412 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (78)
  • I was a freak when I was pregnant I really did everything by the rules. I stopped drinking, stop taking pain killers (was in alot of pain), stopped snacking on candy, stopped drinking my favorite tea, stopped even eating cold cuts.

    Since I knew it was only 9 months and I was trying to give my son the best change at a good healthy life, of course I could go without I'm his mother, he is my world. I couldn't image doing something knowing how bad it is for him. I even made my husband quit smoking during my pregnancy, also go him going to the gym and taking walks with me. Cause we put our kid needs first, and he needs his parents.
    whoreallycares

    Answer by whoreallycares at 1:12 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • I don't think smoking determines whether or not someone is a "good parent".

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:08 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Maybe we should post a question about do parents who are holier than thou, judgmental and nasty really think THEY are good parents?
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 11:11 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Yes, they do, and I was told I was "dumb" for not agreeing with someone that her habit was ok. I have breathing problems that stem from my mother's refusal to quit while she was pregnant, but I'm "dumb."
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:06 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • \Everyone makes mistakes and no one is a perfect parent. I don't agree with someone smoking while pregnant ... however, I'm sure you have made a mistake when parenting and possibly put your child's health at risk ... whether it be going over the speed limit or finding your child stranding on the top of the couch unattended. No you didn't knowling do these thing, but they were mistakes.

    I don't smoke and never did, but who am I to judge someone's parenting?
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 11:07 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Honestly? you are going wayyy over the top and wayyy out of line.
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 11:07 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Well, I do NOT smoke and I am pregnant! So my opinion is coming from looking at the point of view of the smoker who is pregnant. I do think it is wrong if they do not try. If they automatically say "OH well, I am a smoker I am not giving it up!" Then I think that is selfish thinking and very sad! My mom smoked with all three of us kids and we are fine. Doesn't mean I do not think she should have tried to quit. On the other hand for the mothers that sincerely try to quit and fail at times I do not judge them too harshly. Smoking is proven to be the hardest habit to break. I have never been addicted to it so how can I judge whether they can or not. Also, many people try and quit and fail many times before they are actually successful!
    AmyLynn5398

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 11:12 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I find it funny that people are even getting defensive about it......It's a selfish thing to hurt your child for your own sake. Now if you smoke after pregnancy that's a whole different thing as long as it's not around the child or anything.
    iluvmm09

    Answer by iluvmm09 at 11:24 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Well, I guess I'm "judgmental" too because I want to punch a bitch when I see someone riding in a car with their children, puffing away on a cancer stick. Or when I go to a certain relative of mine's home and he and his wife have it completely smoked out with no regard for their THREE children (one of whom has some health issues).
    I used to smoke (quit a few years ago) but I NEVER forced anyone to breathe my smoke--even before I had children, I smoked outside because I didn't want my freaking cats to have to breathe my smoke. I agree with you OP--these people trying to justify forcing their kids to breathe the nastiness are just in denial about how utterly shitty and selfish they are being on this topic.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 1:04 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Oh, and of course I got MULTIPLE down votes. :D
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:07 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

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