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3 Bumps

My babys daddy he always asks me to let him take the baby to stay overnight. I am not comfortable with that because my baby is only 2 months old. If i say No to him, he starts threatening me with getting joint custody on the baby. What should I do?

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ConfusedMom1222

Asked by ConfusedMom1222 at 11:22 AM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Let him take you to court. Fight it.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:23 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Go file for child support on him and that way the visitation will be set also.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 11:23 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • do u breastfeed? if you do you might be able to use that, also contact who ever is in charged of ur case
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 11:23 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • If I were you.

    I would first ask myself why I didn't trust my child to be with their father/taken care of by their father? Once I was aware of why I didn't trust this. I would then discuss those issues with my child's father logically and rationally. And see if we could work together towards a mutually agreeable compromise.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 11:24 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • In most cases, custody and visitation are 2 seperate issues. Custody is simply who gets to make the decisions on how the child is raised. Visitation is how often the non-custodial parent gets to see the child.
    At 2 months old, he wouldn't get overnight visits but could get unsupervised visits. Let him take you to court. I doubt there is a judge out there that would agree to him keeping baby overnight at this age.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:28 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Is there a particular reason why you don't want him to take the baby other than the fact that the baby is so small. Could an option be for hi to stay the night with you, or you both stay with him? If you go to court. Chances are you will have to let the child stay with him over-night every other weekend and then your hands would be tied. If he is an abuser and that is what you are scared of, then it's a whole other situation. If he has a new girlfriend that wants to "play mommy" with your child, then that's a whole other situation too. It really depends on what is really going on..
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 11:28 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • If you breastfeed you could use that against him..but if he shows no sign of wanting to kidnap or harm your child in any way (and doesn't have another S/O that would)..then I don't see the issue.
    SparklingHope

    Answer by SparklingHope at 11:30 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • If you breastfeed that wouldn't be good you shouldn't have to, nursing children that young need to eat during the night, if he took it to court they would be in your favor. Does he pay child support? If not I highly doubt that he would take you to court, becuae if he does he will have to pay it even if he gets joit custody.
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 11:36 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I would advise you to talk to a lawyer / legal aid and find out what your rights are. Since your baby is only 2 mo old, or if you are breastfeeding they might be valid reasons to postpone overnightsl. I would document ever 'threat' he says to you (save all texts, emails, or voice messages) and show them to a lawyer as well. Do you have court ordered visitation or are you just allowing him to see the child whenever? If you don't have court ordered visits, you may want to call his bluff and say "fine, take me to court." I would also mention to him that if he decided to take you to court for visitation, you will take him to court for child support (if there is not an order already in place). Maybe if he is faced with the prospect of having to hire a lawyer and go to court for both visitation and child support (and have to pay out $$ ) he may back down. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:41 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Usually judge don't let babies that small stay overnight and only out for a few hours. My daughter was one when her bio-dad took em to court to see her. I didn't trust him so he had visitations on his house but I had to be with him an adult (i was a teen mom) It only last a few months becuase he got tired of his daughter. Go to court to file for visitations, don't wait until things get out of your hands.
    sweetyazfl

    Answer by sweetyazfl at 11:55 AM on Sep. 27, 2010

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