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How do you come back from being unfaithful????

Its hard to adjust to having the attention of one person and how do you adjust to not being so selfish whats a good way to cope ?? diving into work only works temporarily and doesn*t address the issue of why the infidelity occured how do I put my life back together some help please ( speaking from experience would help so I know I can come back from this cause right now I am not sure if that is possible). Thank you more than you know for even reading this question.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • It sounds like you may need some counseling to get your life put back together. If you are married and your spouse forgives you, you go on with your life. Do the best you can and don't live in the past. But you have to be truly ready to give up the other person...
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 9:27 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • You need to figure out (if you don't already know) why the infidelity happened. You need to take responsibility for it, and you need to figure out how to make some changes to address the problems that led to infidelity. Selfishness can be cured by practicing gratitude, by focusing on what you have to lose. Clearly you want to save your relationship, so keep on reminding yourself that your selfishness and your desire to garner attention from more than one partner may very well cost you your relationship. Put yourself in your SO's shoes - how would it feel to be cheated on? How would it feel to hear your SO say the things that you think and feel?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • You didn't say if you were married or just seeing someone and feel that you cheated but we'll assume you are married. You are right, it's difficult accepting attention from just one person sometimes. It's pure power to many of us to get attention from other men. We love that power and with power comes control. It's a dimension of my life that I can't and won't give up. My SO knows that and he can see other women as well. He loves the chase. I love to be chased. It works for us together as well as with other ppl. In my case, I have someone who understands my need for male attention and he allows me that pleasure. I always let him know that he's King of my Hill and that will probably never change.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:29 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • a baseball bat to a truck?
    alaskaice

    Answer by alaskaice at 11:38 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • counciling sounds like a good start...n couples counciling whenever you do find another someone oyu wanna be serious wiht..
    Killemo

    Answer by Killemo at 2:16 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • I have been married almost 7 years. During the summer for the first time I was able to go out with my friends and have a girls night out. We had a blast. I went out a few other times. One night I met my best friends boyfriends brother. Before I knew it I cheated on my husband. Before that happend I was feeling resentment towards my husband. I seen the guy 4 times before my husband found out. It killed me to see him hurt. I don't know how I was so stupid but I was and regret it. Thankfully I have a great husband and we are working it out. I realized I let other things get in the way of how I truely felt about him and I almost lost the best thing ever. Now I am working my butt of to show him that I am sorry and that I love him and the kids. I screwed up so if you haven't yet DON'T do it. It is not worth it if you love your DH/SO. I am lucky he wanted to work it out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • You need to figure out (if you don't already know) why the infidelity happened. You need to take responsibility for it, and you need to figure out how to make some changes to address the problems that led to infidelity. Selfishness can be cured by practicing gratitude, by focusing on what you have to lose. Clearly you want to save your relationship, so keep on reminding yourself that your selfishness and your desire to garner attention from more than one partner may very well cost you your relationship. Put yourself in your SO's shoes - how would it feel to be cheated on? How would it feel to hear your SO say the things that you think and feel?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Nov. 2, 2008

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