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Do kids really know how 2 "play" back? Even at 7yrs old?

I have never punished my daughter. (spank her, sit in corner, ect.) But Ive NEVER really had to. Until now! Shes 7, goin on 17. Likes 2 talk back, call me names, and is completely rude! I try to send her 2 her room n she just crosses her arms n says "i dont have to!" "Ur mean! I hate u! Im gonna go live somewhere else!"
So....what im asking is: How am i supposed 2 disipline her, when she dont listen? I swatted her butt, and she SCREAMED at the top of her lungs so much the neighbors could hear her and said "DONT HIT ME MOM! U HATE ME! UR SO MEAN! (it was embarrising!)
Do i lock her in her room n let her scream??? Do i ignore her??? HELP!!

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SylivasMommie

Asked by SylivasMommie at 12:56 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (127 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Whatever discipline route you take, she is going to scream until she gets the message that it doesn't bother you. While she is screaming she needs to be in her room until she can acts her age. My 8 y/o gets a nasty attitude when he is in trouble but, he is learning quickly that being a brat isn't the way. The younger kids know the rules and don't give me much trouble when they are being disciplined. At 7 spanking doesn't really bother them because it doesn't take long for them to figure out the sting only hurts for a second and then they are back to doing whatever it was to get them in trouble. For awhile your going to have to MAKE her do exactly as you tell her so, she realizes that you are in charge not her. Good luck!
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:14 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • There are some good books out there that can help with discipline. Dr Phil's is supposedly great. Find your child's "currency", that thing or activity which is most important to her, and withhold that as punishment. Time out can be effective too. Make the length of time appropriate for her age and be consistent. Do not talk to her if you have to take her back to the time out spot. People give up on time out because the child has to be returned to the spot. It can take a long time before she stays there. Whatever method you pick do it every time and stay consistent and stay calm. Make sure she also is getting enough one on one time with you and hubby. That she is getting praise for the things she does right. And lots of hugs and kisses.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:25 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • She gets TONS of affection! However, Im a single parent and i think i have just spoiled her WAY to much! Now Im paying for it! She takes advantage of the situation sometimes too. Like when i tell her "NO, u can not have that!" in the store: she will throw a HUGE fit! She knows how to get her way! She pretty much "Runs the house" now. Its like shes the parent n Im the child!!!!!! So i need to put my foot down. I just have 2 figure out how!
    I will check into these books u speak of! Thanks! :)
    SylivasMommie

    Comment by SylivasMommie (original poster) at 1:42 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I feel you, I really do.

    Damn they make it so hard to parent!!!

    I suggest removing your emotion from the situation. DO NOT care if she calls you "mean" and threatens to live elsewhere! Our job as the parent is to raise good people who will abide by society law(s). You are doing your job!

    I like to say "Oh, too bad, so sad, sorry you are mad..." LOLOLOL

    Radarma

    Answer by Radarma at 2:07 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Spanking didn't work much on my kids either and by 7 they would rather I hit them than take away their freedoms. You have to know what is going to have the most impact. If you tell her to go to her room and she says no, you drag her to her room, even if its by the arms and she's laying on the floor (I've done this), yea she'll come out and you drag her again. That doesn't work you start taking away privledges. At 7 you're still are in enough control that you can handle the situation without her over running you. If she talks to you disrepectfully or tries to argue, don't give in, tell her whatever it was you told her to do again and that you'll talk to her when she can talk to you without being rude and enforce what you said but again giving consequences when its not done. When my older son was 14/15 I finally just told him the way he talks to me hurts my feelings, a 30 minute speek, he doesn't talk to me that way now.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:59 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • This is so hard. I agree with the other moms about finding out what means them most to her and restricting her freedom. Do not let her words bother you, I don't think at 7 you know how long the impact angry words can have on someone. I would talk to her about it when is calm. I would let her scream without an audience. Just walk away. Good Luck to you1
    MomIWant

    Answer by MomIWant at 3:11 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • She'll throw fits until she learns that fits don't work. If a fit gets her what she wants, she'll throw a fit again next time. If a fit causes her to lose more privileges, the fits will eventually stop. Never let a fit cause you to not punish a child. Punish once for the original behavior that requires punishing and have another consequence (punishment) for having a fit.
    I wouldn't send her to her room - chances are, her room is full of toys, books, dolls, and other things she likes. I'd sit her in a chair facing a wall in the room that you are in so that she cannot just play and have fun while in punishment.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:19 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Put her in a chair, set a timer, and ignore her nasty little attitude. When the timer goes off move the chair to the table, give her a piece of paper and a pencil and tell her she can get up after she writes "I will not talk back" 10 times. If she complains, make it 20.

    My oldest daughter was stubborn and started to have episodes of talking back. She was instructed to write "I will show respect for myself and others through my words and actions" 10 times. She complained. I made it 20. She complained. I informed her that it would increase again if she continued mouthing off. She continued. It became 30. Then 40. Then 50. She smarted up and started writing. She was up late that night sitting at a table writing. Her attitude has been much better - for over two years now! That was the last episode of sassing back and rude behavior that we had to contend with.
    caseyandkids

    Answer by caseyandkids at 5:05 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My son is like this. I have to be consistent with whatever discipline I am using. He tells me all the time I am not his best friend. I could careless. There are rules and consequences for breaking those rules.

    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 5:15 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Be consistent. Sit her in a wooden chair facing a wall. She doesn't have to like it. You're not her friend, you're her parent. When she says "I don't have to" just reply "wrong" and continue on with the punishment.
    missingruth

    Answer by missingruth at 5:53 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

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