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I've tried 3 yrs to settle this dispute now I've given up

but I really miss my son. I raised him myself for the 1st 4 yrs while my S/O was in the Marines. Fastforward, we had 2 more girls and we were all VERY close until the DIL came into the picture. She alienated him from 1 sister she was then killed, then the 2nd sister, and now us his parents. I wrote him a letter, I've apoligized for things sev x's , for yrs and it hasn't helped. I don't interfere in their lives, or give un asked advise etc. She lies all the time and I just can't win w/a liar. Have any of you had this with your grown children? I really hate to just give up but w/the loss of our DD I'm too drained to fight any more, but not having my son in our lives just breaks my heart.


Asked by MyAngel003 at 2:08 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 26 (25,899 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • prayer. that's it. my ex's family has the same issue with their other DIL. but i understand WHY they are closed off from the the family. the woman is certifiable... she's a HORRIBLE human who lies pathologically and interferes in lives "willy nilly" she told my husband i was cheating on him with a friend of his i have never even met or spoken to in any form. her husband loves her even though she's who she is and chose her over his family. when grown ups make their decisions, the only people who can change their minds is them. your son is doing exactly what he wants and no amount of her persuading is going to alter what that is... i am sorry and i hope that he'll realize how important you are to him.

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 2:21 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I would try talking to your DIL and accepting her into your life. You mentioned you said you were sorry to your son... have you said you were sorry to her? If you try to build an honest relationship with her you would have a better shot at having your son back into your life. I would start off humbly with her and asking her what you can do to make things better.

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 2:14 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • To be honest, I have never believed that someone turns their back on their family without something really big happening and I really don't believe that a woman convinces a man alienate his family. There would be no point to that whatsoever. Every time I hear or read this kind of thing it's because the parents have tried to control their adult child and their relationships with their spouse/SO and finally they have had enough. If nothing really has gone on to make him not have contact then I'm sorry, it must be terrible to go through that. But I have a feeling we're missing a big part of this story.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Talk to your daughter in law in an honest humble manner. I wouldn't play the blame game. Think about it, if you have said or done anything now is the time to build those bridges back and simply say you are honestly sorry. The word "But" should not ever be a part of an apology. Honestly ask her what happened in the spirit of mending the wrong. Don't scoff at her reply, what one person may see as funny can hurt another person. Good luck to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 AM on Sep. 28, 2010

  • the dil is the key to your sons heart and trying to mend your relationship with him. Build the bridge back with her, and you can start to mend it with him.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:26 AM on Sep. 29, 2010