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my 11 year old son hates taking showers, changing and even changing underwear. i think it is absolutely horrible not to mention disgusting!! i was curious if anybody knows if this is a age thing or not and if anyone has any advice.

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Asked by workinmom247 at 10:40 AM on Jul. 2, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (14)
  • I agree - it's gross! I have twin 12-year-old daughters and, while they'll get into the shower and run the water, they do not wash. They stink!!! It is so bad that we can't stand to be near one of them. I mention it to them all of the time but I'm mom so I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about. We have chosen to keep telling them but to also let peer pressure work to our advantage. Eventually someone is going to make a comment to one of them about how bad they smell or make fun of them. That should do it (I hope).

    It is definitely an age thing but I, for one, cannot wait until they grow out of this stage!!


    Answer by tulip40in05 at 10:52 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • It is unfortunately an age thing. Way gross and will end but for now, at my house it's no tv, computer, etc. unless you get in the shower and actually wash, and you don't want mommmy in there to make sure either! Not serious threats but it does help!

    Answer by Gretae at 11:07 AM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • What helped my niece, her mom allowed her to pick the soaps and shampoos. Try a physiological approach. Approaching him w/ a new angle might change his attitude. Rather then insult his ego about his cleanliness; make it about needing better products. Mitchum deodorant has ingredients that are close to prescription strength.  Compare the active ingredient % when selecting a deodorant. Surely he’s heard of AXE or TAG body spray he might like to try one of these, and/or men’s body wash.  Make a deal to get it for him if he showers every day to help keep him smelling fresh all day. Remind him that it’s not used to mask the stench of not showing.  Tell him you’ve noticed the old products must not be working because you smell something bad when you get too close. Couldn't hurt... Good luck.


    Answer by kattseye at 12:28 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • its an age thing - my parents were sick of it hapening with my bro so they would make him go into the bathroom and clean up and they would jokeingly say "if i have to stand behind this door with a baseball bat ..." he would laugh and take a shower but it was time consuming for my parents to have to constantly stay on him about it -

    Answer by vakatia at 12:58 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I got my boys, 8 9 and 11, some "man soap", as we call it. Axe or something else scented like men's cologne. Suave makes an inexpensive version. My 11 yo was the main offender, but he actually uses this. They all like smelling like grown-ups!

    Answer by drowninginboys at 2:02 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • 50% age 50% boy... let him pick his own shower things, tell him every morning or every night or w/e he needs to shower. He's a boy, he'll need alot of reminding.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 2:38 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • You must be firm with this or it possibly may not get better depending on the child. My husband has an 18 year old adopted daughter that he used to remind to wash herself when he and his ex-wife were together. The ex-wife didn't want to hurt her feelings and tell her to wash so he did it and finally she looked at him one day and said I don't care if I smell and I don't care what anyone thinks--they both thought eventually the peer pressure would get to her but it didn't.
    continued below...

    Answer by georgeswife5014 at 2:58 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • She lived with us for about 3 months at the beginning of the year and one time I opened the dryer and pulled out the clothes to fold them and I noticed that a pair of my pajama pants smelled a little funny. I put them to my nose and almost gagged on the smell.. I said "what the holy hell??" More thinking to myself than anything.. and my husband and she came running into the laundry room asking what was wrong. Come to find out they were NOT my pants, they were hers (I didn't know she had some exactly like mine).. and she also had hand washed a pair of her underwear that she bloodied from her period and just threw them in the dryer b/c they were her favorite pair. The entire load of laundry got rewashed needless to say. My husband was so embarrassed about it.. I was disgusted but we didn't say anything to her--hoping that she would figure out what the problem was. I'm not sure she is any cleaner now than she was then.

    Answer by georgeswife5014 at 2:58 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Age thing i just showed one of my kids a video of how all the dirt and stuff can make u sick and all the bacteria and it worked for a little while lol

    Answer by Patience1 at 3:37 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • Both my boys went thru this stage. We firmly told them not washing properly was not an option. "when you're grown you can do what you want in this house you will follow the rules" I told them I would scrub them myself if need be. They thought I was joking. They were required to shower every other day minimum. First time I smelled one of them he got scrubbed. Guess what I never had to do it again. They do grow out of it..and then you can't get them OUT of the shower!

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:38 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

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