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11 Bumps

A sensitive question about childhood molestation adult content

I was thinking the other day about the huge numbers of girls who are molested every year. My daughter is 2 1/2 and I was wondering when the right time to start talking about good touch/bad touch would be. I don't think she's ready yet, which led me to another train of thought.

If a molester were not hurting her, in her 2 year old mind, she may not know the difference between being molested and being cleaned. This is both comforting and frightening. Comforting because if it were to happen then she wouldn't be super traumatized and terrifying because if it happened she wouldn't know to tell me or show any signs that it had happened so the person could be stopped.

How do I teach a child who still needs to have her diaper changed the difference between mommy or daddy cleaning her up and a pedofile getting off on it?

 
Ati_13

Asked by Ati_13 at 3:17 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My children are 3 & 4 and we have already had these lessons... I start around 18 months or so, if my children were in the care of someone else, I would have started earlier. I have always explained to my kids that NO ONE is allowed to touch your private areas in any way that makes you uncomfortable. I told them if anyone ever touches them in a way that they don't want touched, or that hurts them they need to tell mom, dad or someone else. We still bathe our kids, and at those ages we still had them in diapers... So I understand the difficulty of explaining the difference, which is why we always told them "bad touches" are touches that make them feel bad or that hurt. I also explained to them that the ONLY people who are allowed to touch them in their private areas is them, and mommy or daddy or a doctor and ONLY if they are cleaning or healing them. It's an ongoing talk and something that you need to reinforce over and over.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 3:27 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • =(.. A lot of mothers are scared and worried about that..

    My kids are 3 & 5 and I have explained to them..when they were younger that those are "private parts".. Only Mommy and Daddy can touch there when you are taking a bath.. Nobody else should touch there for ANY reason..

    They understand quite well.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:19 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I'll bump you because I want to know as well. My daughter is almost 3 and I'm scared. I was molested by two different men growing up and I want to try my best and protect my daughter.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:19 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • My kids have been going to daycare since they were very small.. 4 months and 1 month.. When I explained to them that nobody should touch those parts.. they understood.. A little boy at daycare actually tried to touch my daughter once and she told immediately, so she understood. Kids are smarter than you think a lot of the times..
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 3:24 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • We had the talk with my son at 3. I was a molested child so it was very important that my son know what to do. We told him that the only people that can touch him down there are mommy, daddy, dr sarco (his ped), and ms cathy (his DC) and that if anyone else ever tried he was to scream, hollar "don't touch my penis!", and run to the nearest other grown up.

    It only back fired once..... My friend was over and bent down to fix his belt/ pants because they were crooked and he screamed in her face "don't touch my penis! your a bad bad lady!" and ran into his room and refused to come out until she was gone
    wildwiccan83

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 3:52 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • When I took my daughter to her 3 yr check up last year the pedi told me to start talking to her about it. but as for trying to teach them boys don't need to touch them.. i have no idea good luck..
    proudmommy690

    Answer by proudmommy690 at 3:20 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • What about baby sitting? Or if a doctor were to need to look? I don't want to scare her from allowing other people to attend to her needs if the time ever comes (we don't ever go out lol, so no baby sitters to worry about right now, but maybe some day, or a doctor, etc).
    Ati_13

    Comment by Ati_13 (original poster) at 3:21 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • It's hard to say at that small, because you don't want your small child saying someone touched their no no parts when they were potty training or just getting a diaper change. I remember first learning about it at age 4. There are a ton of great childrens books about it too.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:21 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • 2 years old is just right! Teach them now. They understand more than we give them credit for. I know someone who taught her son when he was that young and it saved him from being molested by a family member. Please, educate your child as early as possible especially with the way people think now-a-days!
    SparklingHope

    Answer by SparklingHope at 3:43 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

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