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10 month old - dont comment unless its helpful please

ok my daughter is 10 months old for the past two weeks she has started throwing MJAOR tempor tantrums. But thats not my biggest issue. My biggest issue is that she has started smacking too. I used to tell her No! real steran "thats not nice. we dont smack people" and it wasn't working. So my MIL suggested smacking her hand. Ok so i cant smack but i do tap so that she gets the point. At first it worked for a few days... but now she just laughs at me and does it harder. What do i do? The smacking it completly unacceptable to me. Ive tried ignoring her when she does it, and ive tried distracting her with something hoping she will stop. Is this good? Or would that be teaching her that its ok? Im at my wits end with it all.

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Charisma88

Asked by Charisma88 at 3:37 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 6 (138 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Its becoming a game to her and thats why she is laughing. I would continue with the ignoring aspect and when she hits I would put her down for a few minutes and say dont hit. You have to be consistant and do it everytime.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 3:40 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I would maybe try a 1 minute time-out in a certain area, mayber her high chair if you have to. Somewhere that she will be alone, but you know she won't get hurt. But like I said, just for 1 minute not any longer- they say 1 minute for each year old they are.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 3:41 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • She's laughing because she thinks it's a game. You need to sit her down each time and tell her no, we don't hit. Take away the toys she was playing with when she hit, sit her down and tell her no. Be very calm and matter of fact.
    Ignoring and distracting won't work - they will only teach her that she can get away with it, that there is no consequence. And hitting her hand teaches her that hitting is ok.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 3:44 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • i already stopped the hitting her hand thing. i had already realised it wasnt working. and i already have tried sitting her in time out. she can crawl and stuff but she hates her bumbo beause she cant move when in it so i make her sit in it but i only make her sit in it for probably a min if that. she doesnt have much of an attention span at this age and i already felt any longer would jsut be pointless because within a minutes time shell have already forgotten what happened
    Charisma88

    Comment by Charisma88 (original poster) at 3:47 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • When you are parenting think about what you are doing. You are expecting a child with limited language skills, a child that developmentally doesnt' have empathy to understand lectures about how hitting isn't nice. Hitting teaches hitting.


    Try to figure out when she is going to hit. Usually kids are worse when hungry, tired or stressed. Try to keep your child from being these 3. Be on the look out for hitting. Avoid getting hit. If hit state the rule, "hitting not allowed." Move away and turn away so laughing doesn't get an audience. Don't say no, kids tune out no because it is so over used.  

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:47 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • ok at 10 months of age, smacking her hand back was a wrong move. that made it a game because she simply isnt old enough to apply discipline cause and affect. honestly? IGNORE HER. when she is being a snot. put her in her crib, but the sides up, and WALK AWAY. ignorning by far is going to send a much clearer message.
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 3:48 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Your mother-in-law has given you excellent advice. The reason it is such good advice is because it is what works. It's how I raised my children and it's probably how your husband was raised. Children learn very early in life how to manipulate their parents and a 10-month old has already begun. Unless you teach her right now that your no means no, you are in for a very rough ride through the journey of parenthood. I have 6 grandchildren who are all being raised this way, and I can take them anywhere I want to without fear of temper tantrums. They are very well-behaved children--all because their parents loved them enough to do the hard stuff like smacking their little hands to teach them that no does indeed mean no. It is a hard thing to do, and no good parent enjoys doing it, but it works and it works well and quickly when done correctly.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:53 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Here is a famous article about why saying no to toddlers doesn't work


    http://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/say-no-without-saying-no


    Here is a small article about why punishment doesn't work with young children


    http://life.familyeducation.com/punishment/toddler/53223.html

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:53 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Charisma, you're doing PRECISELY the right thing by putting her in the Bumbo. KEEP DOING IT. Every time. Even if it means she's going back in the Bumbo every three minutes.

    Persistence is the key. They don't get the message the first time. Sometimes it takes them ten or twenty times. But she WILL get the idea: "If I do THIS, then something I don't like will happen."
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:54 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • yea i always take her straight to it. shes pretty good about calming down anymore when i do it i just hope this phase goes away quickly. im hoping shes not getting her terrible twos early lol
    Charisma88

    Comment by Charisma88 (original poster) at 3:56 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

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