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Does your DH/BF have a illegitimate child that he has nothing to do with?

If so, how do you feel about the situation? Do the two of you have a family together?

My DH has a (possible) son that is 6 yrs old. DH was 17 when this kid was born. The "baby mama"'s parents forced him out of their lives, and now the girl has started making attempts (through me, because she knows what a big heart I have) to have them meet & develop a relationship. We have our own family & DH says it's too late, there will be too many problems caused from it, and that she just wants someone to babysit her kid while she parties her @$$ off. All of this is true, but have you been in a similar situation? What did you do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Oct. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • well if he doesn't want to then don't force him. that would not be good for the child. although my hubby has no baby's but that is my opinion. the child will just get hurt by it all.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:54 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I am on the other end of this. My ex fiancee and I broke up after being together 5 years. He abandoned his 18 month old little girl and never looked back. He never calls, never writes, no cards, and until recently, no money. I am sure he told people I kept her from him, but the truth is, he knows where we live. We have lived in the same place for 10 years. Me personally, I would not be with a man who denies his own child a loving relationship with him. Since it is too late, I would continue to encourage a relationship with his child. It is not that boy's fault his parents were irresponsible. You can't make him see his kid, but you can keep trying to get him to do the right thing, especially since the boy's mom is asking.
    cdgoldilocks

    Answer by cdgoldilocks at 10:54 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • If the mom is that bad then it's almost vital the child be around you and the dad to have any chance of having a decent life and role models. I hope he reconsiders. So what if he has to babysit? He'd be getting to know his son. Who knows? He might even find out he likes the kid and wants to keep him around more. Give the kid a decent place to go to learn values and have a "real" family in your home at least to balance out what he might be going through with the mom if she's a partier and doesnt' want him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:56 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • First off, Get a paternity test before having child/ father introduction. Secondly, DH can't say that! If that's his kid he needs to be there for him. No matter what it takes and you as his wife cannot just sit back and watch him not take part in his child's life. Whether or not its not your child. What kind of woman could support that? It's not the child's fault in any of this and lastly, She can party her ass off all she wants, its her business as long as she does it when its DH's weekend to spend with the child and her "break" time. Set some ground rules and there should be smooth sailing. Good luck!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • I definitely agree he needs to get a paternity test and know for sure. Then, I would sit down and talk to my husband.. it isn't the child's fault how his Mom is - or the in laws. Why make HIS son suffer? He is the only Dad that little boy has. Don't punish the child. He needs to do the right thing. If that is his son, and she takes him to court she could hit him for years of back child support. He should step up and do the right thing.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 11:19 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Get a pternity test first.. I agree with the others my Guy had a daughter when he was 17 and she moved to texas to have the baby and put it upfor adoption and she never followed through. So he has a daughter in Texas who he never seens and the mother only writes him when she wants to get laid or money.. She is a real nice lady(Heavy Sarcasm)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • Id say get a paternity test and involve the mother into your lives a little
    Wassybear

    Answer by Wassybear at 11:44 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • My Dh has two children who he never sees they are both by seperate woman and both his children are around 6 or 7 now. He does not try to contact them and they only contact him for child support
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Oct. 21, 2008

  • My SO made a child when he was drunk and he said he wore a condem ,but the girl said he didn't. The baby is his but when she was born the mother said they didn't need him but always made funny comment like "are u going to buy your child something". The girl also threw it in my face which only proves she is a hoe. But other then that he pays child support i wanted my child to meet his sister there only a year apart but my SO said no so ill leave it ......
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

  • Seriously??????? You used the word "illegitimate" to describe a child?? How horribly offensive. Seems so many people on here are unmarried and are having babies. Are their kids "illegitimate," too? This is an outdated word and is so offensive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 AM on Oct. 22, 2008

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