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2 Bumps

Monster mom or creatinve parenting?

My 2 oldest children (7 &9) are taking piano lessons. They have to practice everyday. I was finding that they didn't practice unless I hounded and nagged...I hate nagging. So I told them they were not allowed to play with neighborhood friends till their practice was done. Result when they wanted to play they rushed through their practice super fast and made little progress in piano.
Now I am trying a new tact. On days they do not have school Piano practice must be done by 12:00( lunch time). On school days it is 5:00 (supper time) or 6pm if there are other activities after school. If piano isn't done by that time then they may not play with their friends for the rest of the day. However, they may play in our yard or ride bikes.
SO today is non-school day piano didn't get done so they are grounded my dd (9yrs) is livid with me. She thinks the consequence is too harsh I think it makes her take resp. What do you think

Answer Question
 
bookworm23

Asked by bookworm23 at 5:24 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,979 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • yes they can tell time!
    bookworm23

    Comment by bookworm23 (original poster) at 5:26 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Don't force them. My mother forced piano on me for 2 years. She made me practice. i hated it. I couldn't play one thing now if I tried. Ask them if they want to play. If they don't, let them quit.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 5:26 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Maybe they want to play other instruments?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:29 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • They will not be quitting! DD is now in grade 2 piano and actually really enjoys the music she is playing. My son dislikes the whole thing but he is making some progress.
    bookworm23

    Comment by bookworm23 (original poster) at 5:30 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Yup, my boy wants to play guitar but even for that he need s to learn to read music. So we have told him when he can read music fluently he can switch. My dd likes piano she just forgets...
    bookworm23

    Comment by bookworm23 (original poster) at 5:32 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • why force them to play? It seems as though your DD likes but but instead of punishment, why not try rewards instead?
    And I would not make your son play piano if he dislikes it. He is old enough to be able to choose a musical instrument he likes. Why not encourage them instead of forcing them?
    Roadfamily6now

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 5:33 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • We do try really hard to encourage them as well. Truth is I would like to take my son out of piano but DH absolutely refuses.
    bookworm23

    Comment by bookworm23 (original poster) at 5:34 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • SO you think it is okay to just let your kids quits stuff they find hard? What does that teach them? Unfortunately a lot of things in life, including school, can be hard.
    bookworm23

    Comment by bookworm23 (original poster) at 5:41 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I don't think you're being too harsh. They're aware of what's expected, and what the consequences are for failing to do what they need to do in order to finish for the day. I agree that its not teaching them anything but to quit when something is too hard. I like the idea of rewards, but there needs to be a balance with that. The reward is already being allowed to play with their friends, so if they get the job done, and correctly, they are rewarded. An occasional award beyond that, such as meeting a milestone in their musical education, sounds like a good idea.

    How long have they been playing? For your son, if its been a few months and he still hates it, I would consider letting him switch to an instrument he's interested in so that he's actually learning how to read sheet music.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 5:57 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Quitting piano will not make them a failure in life, whereas school, it may.
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 6:07 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

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