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Should I be so upset over this???

My BIL and SIL had a baby 3 months ago and they recieve WIC which gives them 10 cans of powder formula each month. I dont really see how a 3 month old baby is going through that much formula yet but from what I hear is that they are feeding him everytime he crys. Neither one of them work, but live off the state and the money they do come across is spent stupidly but thats a whole nother story and debate! So the other day I had heard from several different people that my BIL and SIL were calling asking to borrow money for formula because they were almost out and WIC doesnt refill until the end of this week. They told my MIL that her family helps out so much and his family doesnt do anything to help! I didnt know it was a whole family's responsibility to raise their child financially, but we have all helped out with babysitting while they got out and party... Continued...


Asked by Anonymous at 7:18 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I would be upset. First and foremost, I agree that a child does not go through all that food in a month. Second, I don't believe in feeding a child every time they cry.Your bro and sis and law need to take responsibility for their child, not depend on others. Yes occasionally babysitting for them is fine, but asking for money is wrong. Sorry if I offended you in anyway or your family

    Answer by soccerfanatic14 at 7:23 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • So my DH and I became concerned and called and offered to buy the formula for the baby... because it wasnt about them it was about the baby! So we had a few things to take care of and then when we were finally able to get to it we went to the store and bought 2 cans of formula to hopefully get them through... so we went back to my FIL house because thats where my BIL lives and we were waiting around for them for about an hour before we sent a text message asking where they were... and never got a response so we called them and they said they were at her parents house (where she lives) waiting for dinner to be ready and didnt plan on coming back to my FIL house. First off I was a little confused because they told us they were almost out of formula and then we went out of our way and bought it and then we didnt even get to see the baby? So I sent her a text and told her how I felt about it. and she started going off and saying..

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 7:22 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I was bitching at her and that she didnt need anyone else to make her feel bad that they needed help and thats why she told everyone else never mind and just got a complete attitude with me! Then said she didnt need this from me and said "thanks but no thanks just take it back" I was a little shocked! All I wanted to do was see the baby and didnt say anything more than that to her... I didnt take the formula back, I just left it at the house and went home. But from what I have heard is that she is talking about be behind my back and posted some stuff on facebook. Which really makes me mad! because I would never disrespect someone like that, and talk to someone like that that just helped me out! I really feel like she acted completely ungrateful!!!! Should I be mad about this or just let it go??? (sorry it was so long!!)

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 7:26 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • take the formula back, stop worring about them, i know it sounds mean but how will they ever learn if the fam keeps helping,.my brother is the same, for his bday ppl were buying him diapers for his son, wtf? he was actually thanking them saying how they were out on diapers, i do feel bad but there is nothing wrong w/my brother so nothing shouldbe stopping him or my sil from working& roviding for their son.

    Answer by gabby06 at 7:30 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • i would be upset but just think how stupid she is making herself look by posting stuff on facebook. i'm sure people are first thinking wow thats not right to post crap on facebook and depending on if she said anything about the formula that you left behind i'm sure they are thinking after you helped her no less. when people talk bad at others it's cause they know they did wrong. they are hurt cause you pointed the truth out. i would let it go. there are other important things in your life that you won't enjoy if you harbor ill feelings also your letting her have power over you. don't respond to any of the fb comments or try to defend yourself. let her look like a stupid selfish fool for putting you down. i think it's trashy to post ill remarks on fb.

    Answer by melody77 at 7:32 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Okay shame does not work on people like them I know a lot of people like that. You want her to be grateful do not hold your breath they spend all of their time using others because they are never made to do for themselves. Sorry if your waiting for gratitude you might as well wait for the wall to give it to you. Until they grow up and learn to take care of themselves the wall talking to you might happen first. Let them go think of it as helping the child and forget them.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:32 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • This kind of people are a perfect example of why I bitch about moochers. My step-mom's daughter is about as moochy and ungrateful. She's about 40 and refuses to work. So she's living with my dad and step mom. Back when we lived in the area (we were both in college, working as much as we could, and newly wed living on our own. Her car was having problems and she couldn't afford to fix it. DH had worked many years as a mechanic, so he offered to fix it for her. She refused to help at all (not even bring us some water). After he fixed i she never once said 'Thank you' to either of us, but bitched constantly because something else broke a couple days later. And step-mom bitched constantly because other people (SS and her kid) had walked through the grease in the driveway while we were still working on it, and wouldn't wipe their feet before going inside, so there were footprints on the carpet.

    Answer by coder_chick at 8:01 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • well... a couple thoughts...

    i had dinner recently with a friend of mine whose baby was two months at the time. she mentioned that the wic does not cover all the formula the baby eats. i am currently receiving wic thanks to my jackass job firing me a few months ago. although it does provide enough milk, it does not provide all the fruits and vegetables, proteins or cereals. it is meant for assistance not for full coverage.

    my daughter is 19 and is trying very hard to make it on her own. she makes alot of stupid mistakes with money, etc. she hates having to ask for help but every now and then she has to suck it up and do so - at which point she tends to get very angry and take it out on me, the person she asks for help. it is hard for someone full of pride to admit they need help.


    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:10 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • if you wish to help - try to do so without any condition or expectation. it should not be about whether they are living their lives according to how you would or if you agree with their choices. you should not expect them to be available when you did not make plans. try not to resent them not reacting the way you had hoped, etc. if you are unable to just help for the sake of helping, then you probably should consider not doing it as it obviously leads to problems and resentment.

    as for how everyone else is treating them or helping or enabling or whatever it is you feel - there is nothing you can do about that, and they all make their own choices. try to let this stuff go... don't get involved with the juvenile crap. as for facebook, sounds like there is venting happening there just as you are here it just sucks that there is not anonymity there. rise above it. ignore it or just address how you feel about it then move on.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:14 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • It's sad, but they probably didn't really NEED formula, just wanted money that they could say was going to buy formula....

    If they were that low why would they be going anywhere besides to meet you for the baby's food?! It sounds like they have some problems. I'd say it's just better for you and your sanity to stay away. It's really sad. I feel for the baby!

    Answer by mom2maddie06 at 9:01 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

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