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when a friendship ends

Long story short...
I had a friend for about 5-6 years and the friendship ended when she was caught cheating on her husband with my brother in law. I moved away shortly after and haven't spoke or seen her since. I planned to move away before the incident and I planned to let the friendship dissolve on its own because she was very negative and put me down all the time.
However, after 7+ years I still have dreams about trying to impress her or I dream that I'm telling her all my accomplishments in the past 7 years. Almost like I need to prove to her that I've done something that she didn't think I would; own a house, graduate college, ect...
How can I make this stop? Why do I care?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on Sep. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • a dream book i used to have (in your dreams by gayle delaney) interprets characters in dreams as parts of yourself or other people in your life. in this case it would ask the question to describe her - which you did as someone who was very negative and put you down alot - who does this remind you of or is there a part of yourself that relates to this? that might give you some clues as to how to make it stop - to deal with that person or part of yourself.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:04 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • I think it is normal to use a past relationship as a rod to see how far you have come, especially if someone said you wouldn't be able too! Congratulations on the house and the degree btw!! That is a GREAT accomplishment :)

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 7:23 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • You feel hurt because you may have been the better friend. She wronged you and its hard to move on, especially if she feels like she did nothing wrong

    Answer by soccerfanatic14 at 7:30 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • maybe u were the good friend, idk i ended a friendship w/someone about 6-7months ago, every wedding dress i picked she said was ugly ,everythingmy df did for me she would get upset asking him why he did these things or if he was planning on doing something for me she would try to convince him not to, every now n then i ask hubby if she has sent him messages on facebook n he ask if i miss her, hell no i dnt, i was always the one trying to help her out i was the good friend.

    Answer by gabby06 at 7:24 PM on Sep. 27, 2010

  • Subconciously you seem like you care and it's probably because you have known her for so long and miss her friendship in one way or another. However, you stated she was negative and a cheater. I had an old friend who was very negative,, once I went to college from her jealousy, we ended our friendship after our conversation about her negative comments, etc. Friends are suppose to be supporters and not negative or get jealous when you achieve at something. So, it is good you cut her off and were able to move away from that. Hopefully, she learned from the experience.

    Answer by siimply_me at 7:53 PM on Sep. 27, 2010